Your mum is so fat, she is likely to do die before my mum.

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How do you make a plumber cry? You kill his family.

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What did the alien say to the parachute? We're connected

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: The chicken saw greater opportunities to find food on the other side

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roses are reddish voilets are blueish if it weren't for christmas we'd all be jewish

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What did the framer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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A man breaks into your house points a gun at your head and proceeds to fire a blank... The man stares at your for another minute before jumping back out of the window he crawled in from and sitting on the curb outside your house rethinking his life choices.

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A schizophrenic walks into a bar. He has dual personalities and does not realize that he has murdered his family.

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What do you call a bunch of black people hanging out in a barn? African American farmers socializing.

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There is a dead guy on the road lying in a puddle of blood with a gunshot wound on his head. What happened? He died

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How are a dead chicken and a woman alike? They both belong in the kitchen

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what happens when you throw a rock in the water? it gets wet

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Why couldn't he play piano? Because he is an untalented piece of shit.

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What did the Pope say to the homosexual couple? Welcome to the community.

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That was slightly painful. I would appreciate it if you would stop such actions in the future

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What do you call a black guy that steals a car? A father desperate to save his dying son who doesn't have a car to drive to a hospital

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How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a would chuck could chuck wood? Home depot

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Boy: Excuse me, do you have a cigarette? Man: First let me see your ID. Boy: I don't have an ID Man: Well, how much money do you have? Boy: 50 cents Man: Sorry, I don't have any cigarettes. Boy: Good job, I'm actually undercover cop and you sir are a good citizen for not giving a minor cigarettes. Man: Cool, do I get a reward? Boy: Yes, you will receive a good citizen award and free $50 coupon. Man: Thank you! Boy: Can I have a cigarette now? Man: I wasn't lying when I said I didn't have any cigarettes. Boy: Okay, have a nice day.

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how do you wake up a black man? scream!!!!!

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What's the difference between Jordan and Time? Time passes!!

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How do you make an onion cry? Kill the chef.

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How do you greet your great great grandmother born in 1738? Hey, what's up, hello.

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Q: WHAT DO YOU CALL THIS JOKE??? A: Another joke you didn't think was funny... REFRIGERATOR!! O.k. Now it's funny!

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A man watched his city burn. He was traumatized by the loss of his friends and family and went to therapy to recover.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops