What do you call a black man with a speech impediment? By his name.

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Why didn't the Baby wake up? Because it was dead

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Why was the baby crying? Because it was on fire.

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how many birds did chuck norris kill with one stone? one.

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why was the black man scared of cats ? Because a gang of cats ate his family

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a man walks into a bar, only it was an alternate universe so there were dogs running the bar. the bartender dog called human control because it was unsanitary to have a human in a bar. the human was then escorted out by another dog and was taken to a hotel where he received no continental breakfast.

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What do you call two banana's on someone's feet? Garbage.

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Roses are grey, Violets are grey, Im a dog. RUUUFFF!

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Q: Why did the Westboro Baptist Church picket the gay marine’s funeral? A: Homosexuals are a plague sent by Satan to destroy the fabric of America.

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What do you call a seagull that flew into the bay? Wet.

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Whats 2+1? 2.

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What did the woman say to her rapist? I've had better.

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What's the difference between a fat man and a little boy? Despite the fact that they were dropped on two different cities, one was made out of uranium, the other was made out of plutonium.

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What do you call a midget driving a train? A conductor

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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Q: what is blue and floats in a pool? A: a baby Q: what is purple and at the bottom of the pool? A: the baby 5 minutes later

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Knock Knock Whos there? It was the unexpected arrival of his wifes lover who'd been having an affair with her for over a year She thought her husband would be out and forgot to tell him not to come The husband started breaking down in tears whilst throwing insults at both of them, grabbing the man by his collar and throwing him on the ground he started to kick his head in The man died and the husband and wife divorced, theres now a bench in the mans local park dedicated to him.

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knock knok whos there? Jacob Jacob who? U know, your friend!

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A young farmers cow died in an oil burning, The farmer then said to his son; you get the milk ill get the shovel

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What did the jacket say to the girl? Zip me up wait why am I talking

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Yo mamma is so fat She has to wear big pants and is easily fatigued.

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what did the blind, deaf, retarded child, without any arms or legs get for Christmas? nothing, his parents are dead

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What's black, white, and red all over? A zebra that's been brutally cut open.

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A fireman walks into a bar. Everyone has burned alive already, and he's too late to save them.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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