A guy walks into a bar and asks the bartender for some water. The bartender replies: "Sorry, we don't have any." The man responds: "Sorry, I'm drunk." He walks out.

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What would you do if the house you're sitting in now exploded? Nothing really, you would have died a horrible death.

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what did johnny's dad say to him after his baseball game? nothing because johnny's dad was an abusive alcoholic who beat him until the neighbors found out and called the police. the dad was arrested, tried in court then promptly thrown in jail were he was raped in the showers repeatedly by a very large and intimidating black man. he vomited suicide in his cell today by drinking drain cleaner

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roses are red, violets are blue, im not going out with someone that belongs in a zoo.

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What did the sick kid say to Make a Wish foundation? To get better

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A man comes home to his wife sleeping with their neighbor. This lead to their divorce four months later.

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A blonde goes in an electronic store. She buys a TV and leaves.

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Why did the chicken contact Michael Jackson? To get to the other side.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? There must have been something that peaked her interest.

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never bring a knife to a gun fight. bring a sword.

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A man walks into a bar and orders a shot. The bartender asks to see his I.D. The man explains that he had lost his I.D. earlier in the day. The bartender then asked the man to leave, so he left.

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so i turned on my radio.. so i could like listen to some tunes but like, it wasnt working and then like my best bud leaf was all like dude, thats a toaster.

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Q:What's red and crawls up your leg? A: A homesick abortion

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one day a guy walks into a bar. he buy's a drink then walks hapily home by Mad James

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Q: What did the duck say to the other duck? A: Quack

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Why was Jessica sad? She had just recently run over a few newborn puppies with her car.

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Two muffins are sitting in an oven. One says, "It is quite hot in here." This is a lie. Neither of the muffins spoke because in reality, Muffins are not only inanimate objects, they are not humans, and therefore they do not have the ability to speak in a comprehensible language.

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What did the Ginger get for his birthday? A soul...................................……................……………•

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what did the guy say when his partner took a poop on his chest? It was unnecessary for you to deficate onto my chest. In no way at all was that sexually stimulating, and i shall consider seeking out a new partner.

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What did the Police Officer do after he made a positive identification of a Prostitute? He proceeded to pay her in cash for sexual favors because prostitution is legal in the state of Nevada

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Your mums a potato

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What is the difference between a feminist and a gun? A gun only has one trigger

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A man makes a sandwich.

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the man walked into the bar and said ur gay

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops