What time is it when a cow walks into your house? The time that your mother arives.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

How many babies does it take to paint a barn red It depends how hard you throw them

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What did the retarded handicap say to the bully who called him the biggest retard in the world? "atleast I didn't make SOPA"

thumb_up thumb_down +26

When you have read this, you've already read it.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Why was sally mopping the floor? Because she was a slave

thumb_up thumb_down +26

There once was a man from Nantucket. He was a well respected member of the community.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What's worse than dropping your ice cream? Getting a virus that slowly deteriorates your body from the inside out.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

person: Ask me if i'm a tree other person: are you a tree? person: no

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Q: What did the schizophrenic man say to his father? A: "Every time grandmother's urn shrieks, this pornography turns to black ink."

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What did Kim Kardashian say when she got a breast implant? DERP!

thumb_up thumb_down +26

If Hellen Keller could meet Obama, what would she say? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

If a tree falls down in the forest and no one is around to hear it, does God exist?

thumb_up thumb_down +26

A Jew walks into a bar screaming cause he just broke his face

thumb_up thumb_down +26

A student often slept through his alarm, which led to a lower class attendance rate and thus a poor performance on his exam

thumb_up thumb_down +26

A bloke walks into a bar. He doesn't say 'ouch' because it was a public house and not a hard surfaced object as you may have thought initially

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Why couldn't Gladice get out of bed? Because she was dead!

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Why are the Jamaicans in the kitchen? because they are bad men

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? One is something I love to eat, the other is a watermelon.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

One man's trash is another man's treasure is a horrible way to tell a kid that he's adopted

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? Jews are human beings. Pizza is a type of food.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What do you call Morgan Freeman at a family reunion? Morgan Freeman.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Two guys walk into a bar; A Mexican and a Canadian. The Mexican guy says "Bartender, give me a 2 shots of Tequila, por favor". The Canadian guy says "Bartender, give me a shot of Club and a Molson, eh". They continue to drink until neither can feel the crippling pain of their mundane lives - then they each leave the bar, walk home and sleep alone.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What is not a crocodile? The teenage mutant ninja turtles

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Two homeless men are baking in an oven. They scream loudly until they both die.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops