What do you call a person without a heart? Not alive.

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What's worse than stubbing your toe? Nothing. Stubbing your toe hurts like hell.

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What did the teenage girl text her friend while driving? It doesn't matter, she's dead now. Don't text and drive.

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Why is Diarreah genetic? It runs in your genes.

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Why did the boy fail his math test? Because his Mother threw a refrigerator at him.

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What do you call 10 old black people in a barn? Used farm equipment

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Why did the man jump in front of the car? He was clinically depressed, his wife left him and took the kids, he just lost his job. He thought he saw a 20 dollar bill in the street So he stopped to pick it up, not realizing a car was speeding toward him.

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Knock Knock! Who's There? Mike Mike who? Mike who you just called and told to come over Oh ok, come in

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I stepped into the bathroom and began to take a shower. Then, I panicked. I was so thirsty, and I did not take the advantage to drink some water before I stepped into the bathroom. But then I realized: "Wow, I am so silly. I am standing under the shower, so I could easily just expedite my washing and drying, exit the bathroom, get dressed, and grab something to drink from the kitchen!" Then I showered quickly and got something to drink.

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what's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? one is fun to hit with a sledge hammer, and one is a watermelon

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A black man confronts a small white man on the sidewalk and asks for money. The white man responded "no".

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I'm hungry.

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Sex is not the answer. Sex is the question. "Yes" is the answer.

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Why did I miss my bus? Because my watch was wrong.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I've tested positive for herpes We probably shouldn't have intercourse

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What's the difference between a woman? Apart from the differing reproductive systems and body organs, women are characterized by a need to create food.

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willie revilame

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A man gets pushed in to a pole...

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What's big, white, and red all over? A refrigerator that happened to fall on a small child.

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How do you get a one handed man out of a tree Wave

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What's worse than failing your midterms? Child abuse.

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Knock Knock, Ow my face

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Knock knock Who's there ... Hello? Is there anyone there? (In the bushes) Ha! He'll never suspect us!

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What starts with C and ends with UNT. Ciretrunt

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops