What did the elephant say to the zebra? Nothing, elephants can't talk.

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1: What do you call your car door when it's opened slightly? 2: I don't know. What? 1: Ajar! 2: A jar? 1: No. Ajar. 2: But it's a door. 1: Just forget it.

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Q: What's worse than biting into and apple and finding a worm? A: being severely malnourished, thus physically inept to do most simple tasks

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What is just as real as a unicorn? World peace

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Roses are reb, Violets are dlue, Forgive my spelling, I'm byslexic.

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This guy says: "Doctor doctor, it hurts when I do this!" He jiggles his arm and screames in pain. The doctor replies: "Well, don't do it then!"

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A man walked into a bar. He said ow.

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What's worse than the Holocaust? This joke.

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How did the little boy survive the massacre? He didn't. How did the little girl survive the massacre? She was the killer.

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why did the man fart? because he felt like it.

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what is black and green and red all over q: Nothing, you cant have 3 colors on the same surface

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a jewish guy walks in to a bar says to the bartender says "I have aids" and the jewish man replys "my bad"

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Your dad is so old, he should go to a nursing home.

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Roses are blue Violets are red What happened to the gay man? He listened to Justin Beiber And then was straight

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how do you wake up lady gaga you poke her face

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Why did the little girl die Because she was kidnapped by a rapist, and defiled repeatedly, and then to get a ransom from her family the kidnapper slowly pulled out her fingernails and toenails, and sent them to the family the same thing happened with her fingers, toes, hands, feet, arms, legs, teeth, tounge, hair, and eyes, then she died of blood loss after nearly 2 months of torture.

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What's green and invisible? Nothing; green and all other colours of the rainbow have wavelengths that occur specifically in the visible range of the electromagnetic spectrum. Therefore any invisible object cannot be green.

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why did the Mexican make a burrito for his grandma? it's her favorite food and she has artheritis and its to painful for her to stand long enough to make one herself.

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What did the black fire-fighter do when the house caught fire? The heroic man ran inside and got every animal and person inside to the out side and then proceeded to extinguish the flames with his fire-extinguisher out, thus saving most of the families valuables. He was then awarded a raise in his salary for his heroic valor. Although any fire-fighter could have done this because of the hard work and dedication that is put into training. So really describing the race that this heroic man is was totally pointless.

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender asks "Why the long face?" The horse replies, "I have AIDS".

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yo mamas so fat she weighs a lot.

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Your momma's so fat: She regrets not making the most of her youth whilst she was still attractive.

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pull my finger (farts)

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What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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