What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? A Wii.

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An Englishman, and Irishman and a Scotsman are on a plane. The plan is carrying too much weight, and is destined to crash. They drop the luggage, but there is still too much weight on board. They drop the secondary engine, but there is still too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

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How do you make a baby crawl in circles? Nail its hand to the ground

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Most poems rhyme, Show me your ti ts.

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Q: What's purple and eats desks. A: My dog.

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Why didn't the man get to see his family on Christmas? He was blind.

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Roses are black, violets are black. I'm blind.

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Why was 7 afraid of 6, because 6 raped 5

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What did Osama Bin Laden Say to Obama when they met? Nothing Osama is Dead

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd probably put all the labials, coronals and dorsals in separate places sorted into plosives, nasals and fricatives, with the vowels at the beginning sorted by their relative IPA chartings, to make it more logical and easily attainable to foreigners.

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender says, "What can I get for ya?" The man replies, "A beer."

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Roses are red Violets are? blue Lets eat poo I know you want to

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what's black and white and red all over? a zebra in a blender

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what's mouthwatering and smells like fish? salmon

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A wanted man walks into a bar. The police come and take him to jail.

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How can you help Sally who is casually gets beaten by her farther every day? Just give £3 a month to the NSPCC

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What did the Mexican Have for Thanksgiving Dinner? A Turkey you racist!

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Why did the girl go to the hospital? She had an asthma attack.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Due to a lack of awareness of its surrounding, it died attempting to cross the road.

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Knock knock. USE THE DOORBELL!

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What screams when you poke it? A rape alarm.

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What would Jesus do? Something worthy of having him nailed to a cross.

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Why did Billy fall off the slide? Someone threw a refridgerator at his face.

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Whats less comfortable than a metal bench? The trunk of a car when you're being abducted.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops