it was 3 am in the morning and i was stopped by 2 black men in an alley. we said hey to eachother and went along

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Choir.

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How do you get rid of an STD? You give it to someone else.

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whats black and white? Micheal Jackson. - Avery Vartanian

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What did the pear say to the orange? Orange ya gonna say hi? What did the apple say to the banana? Nothing, apples can't talk.

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How do you approach a hot guy in the library? Very quietly.

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A black man walks into a store and grabs something off of a shelf. He walk briskly towards the door and pauses, looking sneakily left and right to make sure nobody else is around. He also looks and sees that the security camera is not facing him. Seeing as nobody is watching him, he quickly turns towards the counter beside the door and pays for the item with his own debit card, knowing that nobody can see him enter his PIN.

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Q: What did the pony say when it had a sore throat? A: "I have throat cancer and only have six weeks to live."

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Boy 1: Hey do you want my last chewing gum? Boy 2: Yeah please! Boy 1: Same. The boy continues to eat the chewing gum and finishes his shit wandering why the boy walked into the same cubicle as him.

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How long did the Hundred Years' War last? 116 years.

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How do you know when a bag of chips is stale? It is past the expiration date.

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knock knock who's there? dave dave who? dave suddenly burst into tears as his grandmothers altzimers became so serious she forgot his name

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What did catwoman say to batman? meow.

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I don't mind gays unless they shove it down people's throats.

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What did the astronaut say at AA? Alcohol is ruining my life.

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A: What is faster than a speeding bullet? B: Light

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why did jonathan not get any presents for the holiday?because it was the 4th of July

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A Jewish man gets on a train. He sits down and a hour and a half later he is dropped of at his proper destination.

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If vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat? Depends. Some are vegetarians or vegans, while most eat a mixture of vegetables and meat.

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im gey

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Somebody pushed it.

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Two Iranians walk into an airport They show their passports and proceed to fly to their home in Minnesota

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There was an American, Mexican, and a Chineese man, they were all on a plane about to crash. They all threw off the plane somthing they had a lot of in their country before they died. the mexican sacraficed tacos. the chineese sacraficed noodles. and the american picked up the mexican and chineese and was about to throw them off beacause he had too many of them in their country but then he came to relization that a community with biodiversity is an important factor in life today. i mean, someones gonna have to mow the lawn?

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Roses are Red, Violets are not blue they are violet, nothing rhymes with this, I give up

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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