I used to be an adventurer, but then I decided to retire.

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Ask me if im a tree? No

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Why did Jerry Sandusky appeal his conviction? Because the judge wrongly considered inadmissible evidence.

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How do a jew, an African, and u white man stop a train? They pull the breaks

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How did the prisoner escape from prison? He asked to leave.

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Knock knock who is there ? i'm an orphaned, sir can you tell me why did you write who "is" instead of who's ?? because than i will have to use the (') key and its very far not to mention that i have to use the shift key do u want a pizza ? how much ? 50 cents ? get the hell out ? im not even in yet !

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was stapled to a donkey

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I love pissing people off :P

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What's the difference between a cow and a Spanish person? To get to the other side

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A woman went outside for some fresh air.

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What's funnier than 24? My life.

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Hey Eliza, thanks, while I appreciate the help, Alice is crying in a corner and refusing to get up, I wont lie, for a moment there I could "see voices and music" and valium has taken care of the ptsd (and blown most of my brain, which is nice for a change). With that said, im on 40 mg ritalin which is a lot, but I need it, besides I can handle the anxiety. I have no idea who the guy typing this is, but he is following me to the letter, so thats good enough, except his typos being worse than mine, which is pretty good for a guy that barely speaks english. Sorry Eliza, but Alice is having a breakdown here, ill talk her down a bit first, she tries to hide it, but she is far more worried about me than I am, which is nice, just not like this, ill be right back with you.

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How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? None,it eats plants.

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Q: whats white and if it falls out of a tree it will kill you A:a fridge

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A man walks into a bar, looks to the right and sees a man one foot tall playing the piano, he sits at the bar and says to the bar tender,"I'm feeling kind of down" the bar tender gives him a bottle of very strong alcohol and later that night he goes home and hangs himself.

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Yo momma so stupid, she had you.

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What did the mute man say to his mother? Seeing as mute men can't talk, we'll never know

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a seal walks into a club.

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A husband and wife just had a baby, and he came out black.

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yo mama so stupid that when she stared at an orange jucie carton for 20 minutes cause it said consatrate

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What did the girl with cancer get for her birthday? Hairspray.

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What does pooh bear call his grandma? Pooh nanny.

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Roses are Red And sometimes yellow My mother is mellow I have terminal cancer. I also fisted my grandpa's anus last night

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A man walks to a baseball game what does he see? Many people

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops