Q-What's the good thing about dating a girl volleyball player? A- She's a Girl

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was very scary.

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Patient: Doctor, I was cleaning my glass eye and accidentally swallowed it. Doctor: OK. Lean over and spread your legs. Patient: (Leans over and spreads his legs). Doctor: My God! This is the first time, in all my years of practice, that I've ever seen an asshole looking back at me!

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What came first the chicken or the egg? Neither, chickens have been extinct since 1987.

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Yo momma so stupid she scored poorly on her SAT's in high school. She couldn't graduate college and now works a dead end job as a waitress.

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What does a Somalian want for Christmas? Nothing hes Sunni Muslim and does not celebrate Christmas

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a tomato

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Why Didnt John Return any of his calls he was in a very serious car accident fell into a coma and will probablly will not wake up ever again

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Yo mama so fat she runs the risk of stroke, heart disease, or diabetes

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What's black and white and has difficulty turning corners? A nun with a javelin stuck through the neck.

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If it looks like a duck and quacks like a duck, its probably a turtle.

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs falling skydiving? Jon, because that's his name.

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Why did the clown fall out of the helicopter?? Gravity

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"Knock knock!" "Who's there?" "Sally." "Go away, Sally. I told you I am not interested." Kevin slammed the door on his colleague, as Sally proceeded to find somebody else and move on with her life. Kevin later in life became a drug addict, and got thrown in jail. Sally got married and had four kids, and while she feels bad for Kevin, she is happy with her life.

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Whats the difference between males and females? fe

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What's worse than being in the Holocaust? Dying in the Holocaust.

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what sad about 4 mexican dieing in a car crash??? My car

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what happened to the guy that got shot in the head? Nothing, it was a water gun.

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What do you call a black man and an Asian at a school? Two hard-working, dedicated teachers.

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I've got the whole world! In my hands! I've got the whole world! In my hands! I've got the whole world! In my hands! Now you must listen to all of my demands or I will crush you all.

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A cowboy rides out to the middle of nowhere and then shoots his horse. He then makes his way back into town and meets a man in the saloon. The man says, "On second thought, I'd like to buy that horse."

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Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

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True fact: every rabbit lives their whole cute life.

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What's worst than a crying baby? A dead baby What's worse than a dead baby? A pile of dead babies What's worse than a pile of dead babies? If there's an alive one at the bottom What's worse that an alive baby in a pile of dead babies? If it has to eat its way out.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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