Why was the women's underwear red?... Because she got stabbed.

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A man is walking down the beach and he spots an antique looking lamp in the sand, he picks it up and rubs it. Nothing happens and the man begins to cry realizing that his life is so dismal and pathetic he was ready to believe he had found a magic lamp. He proceeds to run into the water and bash himself senseless with a large rock until he passes out and drowns.

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how does a chinese chick check if she's pregnant? swallows a rubix cube and if it comes out solved shes pregnant

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What did the tourist in Africa get? AIDS

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Anti-jokes are funny.

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A man walk to the store and buys some clothes.

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What did everyone call the ginger kid? Jimmy as that was his name...

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What do you say to an over weight Jewish mother? "Work on those crunches" He was her coach.

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Patient: Doctor, I was cleaning my glass eye and accidentally swallowed it. Doctor: OK. Lean over and spread your legs. Patient: (Leans over and spreads his legs). Doctor: My God! This is the first time, in all my years of practice, that I've ever seen an asshole looking back at me!

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I once did something.

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Whats worse than a worm in your apple? A worm in your asshole.

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Why didn't the man win the lottery? Because his lottery numbers weren't drawn.

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Did you hear the one about the bus driver? Me neither

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What does it mean if your tv appears floating away in the dark? You had an awesome tv.

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Mr. Wonder, optimism is seeing the glass as half full, pessimism as seeing the glass half empty, and realism as not seeing the glass at all.

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Why couldn't the little girl see in the dark? She had no eyes.

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knock knock who's there Bob I don't know you Bob and if you don't get off my porch this minute i'm calling the authorities.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a bagel.

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Why did the baby fall down from the tree? It was dead.

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What did the suicide bomber say to the other suicide bomber? You're da bomb!

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How does Cee Lo Green order extra ketchup? Can I have some more ketchup, please?

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How did Hitler fit 100 jews in his car? He didn't, he was too busy killing them in concentration camps.

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2 blondes walk into bolemics anonymous.

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What do I do with all the wheelchairs after I boil all the vegetables?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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