Q: What's so funny about medical records? A: You're not the one dying.

Q. Why is me question not funny? A. Because there is no point to it.

Why did the elephant cross the road? To run away from the angry chicken who was mad that he was slacking off work.

what happened to the man who got stuck in a car after a crash? the ambulance failed to arrive and he died a slow, trajic death.

Why did the first Monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead. Why did the second Monkey fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the first Monkey. Why did the bird fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

knock knock "whos there ?" "the police , your husband has died" "ok"

Hickory dickory dock. Two mice ran up the clock. The clock struck one; The other escaped with minor injuries.

What's worse than getting arrested? getting arrested on your birthday.

Knock knock. Who's there? the police.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Who gives a crap?

Why was the girl crying? DEEZ NUTS!

Roses are red Violets are red Jimmy is red Sally is red Susie is red Jimmy is red Billy is red Carl is red Jose is red Jerry is red Ferdinand is red Everyone is red Because they all just got shot In the head And now they're dead

Q: What do they call watermelons in Indiana A:watermelons

Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Her father beat her

What's black and white and red all over? Nothing, becuse if something is red all over it cannot be black nor white.

why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

What did the cannibal do after he dumped his girlfriend........... Wiped his ass

What did the pregnant teen get for Christmas? A miscarriage

How do you make a blonde fall off of a cliff? You push her off of the cliff.

Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because having no sense of hearing or vision she is completely incapable of operating any sort of machinery.

What do Michael Jordan and LeBron James have in common? They both have won NBA championships...except for Lebron.

Jumping out of an airplane is a once in a lifetime expeirence.

How do you make a baby crawl in circles? Nail its hand to the floor. How do you make a baby stop crawling? Nail the other one to the floor.

Roes are red, Violets are blue, This poem doesn't rhyme, You're entire family has died. The plane that they were on went down due to a flock of geese getting sucked into the engine. They were visiting you for your twenty fifth birthday and wanted to surprise you. there were no survivors.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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