Why did the blond wreak her car? She stayed up a very long time studying for her mid-term exam, And therefore, was not as attentive to the flow of traffic.

Why did the duck eat the chicken noodle soup? The duck was told that if he ate the chicken noodle soup on Fear Factor he would win $10,000. What he failed to realize was that he forgot to sign page 16 on the episode contract and did not win any money and was sued by Campbell's soup for copyright infringement.

What's green and has wheels? A green car.

What's old and baggy? An old bag.

Whats worse than spilling ketchup on your shirt? Getting hit by a bus

What's black on top, and white on the bottom? Rape.

Why does beyonce sing "to the left to the left?" cause women have no rights

What's better than doing the Hannah Montana's hoedown-throwdown? Throwin' that ho down.

Why did the chickens leave McDonalds? Because they refused to have their nuggets deep fried (Wyndellberg)

Your blood is red. Your bruises are blue. I have a gun. Now drag your carcass away from my residence.

The Female Orgasm

What did little Timmy get for Christmas? Abandoned

Why did Susie fall out the swing, Because I hate disabled people and i pushed her

Person 1 - Did you know there is only evidents of killer whales killing in captivity Person 2 - tell that to my uncle Pete... He's deaf

Person A said: Knock Knock! Person B could not answer the door as he could not hear Person A's announcement of his or her arrival.

What's the difference between 4 and 6? 2.

how did the girl die? she read all of your terrible anti-jokes.

A man walks into a bar He drinks the night away with his friends *Plot Twist* It was a dream He has no friends.

You're at a funeral & your phone goes off and the ringtone is dead and gone

How many Babies can be drowned in a toliet at once? idk the bathtub is much more convienient

Q. What did Michael Jackson say to the banana? A. Nothing, he's dead.

There was an American, Mexican, and a Chineese man, they were all on a plane about to crash. They all threw off the plane somthing they had a lot of in their country before they died. the mexican sacraficed tacos. the chineese sacraficed noodles. and the american picked up the mexican and chineese and was about to throw them off beacause he had too many of them in their country but then he came to relization that a community with biodiversity is an important factor in life today. i mean, someones gonna have to mow the lawn?

How do we achieve world peace? KILL EVERYBODY. Nobody can fight when they're dead.

Why did the chicken cross the road? The chicken had just received a call from his family, hearing that his father had just been butchered. He was approaching the farm when an 18-wheeler approached. The tire flew off, hit a candy store, candy flew in the chicken's mouth, and it died of diabetes. However, right before the chicken died he finally crossed the road, not knowing he would get shot by his farmer. The chicken managed to survive the shooting to his right kidney, wiggled to his family, and died in front of his wife.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...