Yo mama's so white, she's an albino!

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Bob: "Knock knock." Gerald: "who's there?" Bob: "your worst nightmare." Gerald: "your worst nightmare who?" Bob kicks open the door, kills Gerald, ties up his wife, sells his kids to slavery, and burns his house down.

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what do you call 69 babies in one room? a room full of babies

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Friend: What do you call a farting dog? Me: A canine releasing built up pressure as a result of excess carbon-based gases produced by the synthesizing and decompositional digestive reactions in the stomach and intestines. Friend: ... Who is a nerd, pointless, has no social life, and cant take a joke? Me: No one. No one but you is that exceptionally lacking in character.

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Hi

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Oh no! I forgot the milk!

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How did the terrorist die? He flew a plane into a twin tower

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What's the difference between a lawyer and a catfish? One is a human profession, and the other is a type of fish.

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What did Justin Bieber say when he lost his tampon? Where's my tampon?

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Q.whats the weirdest thing??????? A.woman leaders

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What happens when you have nothing to do and you can't think of a joke? You just type whatever you want and hope to god someone likes it.

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What do you call a man who was just struck in the head with a bowling ball? An ambulance would be the most appropriate thing to call since this man just sustained a serious head injury and medical responders should be contacted, lest his brain start hemorrhaging.

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There is an elephant, a zebra, a lion, and a black man. The black man is enjoying his visit to the zoo.

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I EAT YOUR SOUL. NOM NOM.

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Jesus can walk on water, but Chuck Norris can swim on land... it's called having a swimming pool

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whats worse than 4 dead monkeys? everything! dead monkeys are awesome

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A Priest, a Rabbi, and a Beluga Whale walk into a bar. The Priest says: "Well because today is a holy holiday, I'll take a glass of white wine to celebrate." The Rabbi says: "Well, because today I have to kindle thy sacred light, I'll have a glass of merlot." The Beluga Whale then says: "Ooooooooorrrrooooooommmmmmmm....."

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Q: How do you cure cancer? A: By die aids first

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Shit, I can't think of anything to write. That does not mean I'm black

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What do you call a dog with no legs? Doesn't matter. It won't come to you regardless what you call it.

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Why did Larry drop his suitcase? Because he had no arms. A) Knock knock, B) Who's there? A) Not Larry

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Q: What kind of punch do vampires drink ? A: None... It's really blood, you should know that by now.

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Why can't Helen Keller Drive? Because she is legally blind

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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