Joke: two polar bears were in a bath tub. One said "pass the soap." And the other one said "no soap, radio!"

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How many turrets patients does it take to screw in a light bulb? Cocksucker!!

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Knock Knock. Did someone outside the front door just say "Knock Knock"?

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We are as to jokes as atheists are to religion.

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Why did th chicken cross the road? To get to your house. Knock knock! Who's there? The chicken

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What looks like a flower, smells like a flower, and feels like a flower, but isn't a flower? Just kidding it's a flower

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My uncle was involved in 9/11... He called me before the plane crashed into the twin towers, his final words were so comforting... "ALLAH AKBAR!!!"

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what is big, grey and sits in the middle of a field. A filing cabinet

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Q:What does a virgin and a penny both have in common? A:Guys don't want them.

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Two swallows migrate to Africa. One swallows initiates the conversation, that's when the other catch fire.

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What's so similar about a zombie and a black man? They are both almost human.

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A woman was struck and killed by a truck as she crossed the road. Who's fault is it? The woman's, if she hadn't left the kitchen, she would still be making me sandwitches...

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How many Jews does it take to screw in a light bulb? One.

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Roses are multicoloured Violets are multicoloured Mushrooms are great

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ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS MAD SUCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS MAD SUCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS MAD SUCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS MAD SUCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS MAD SUCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS MAD SUCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS MAD SUCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS MAD SUCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS MAD SUCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS MAD SUCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS MAD SUCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS MAD SUCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS MAD SUCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS MAD SUCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS MAD SUCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS MAD SUCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS MAD SUCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS MAD SUCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS MAD SUCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS MAD SUCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS MAD SUCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS MAD SUCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS MAD SUCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS MAD SUCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS MAD SUCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS MAD SUCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS MAD SUCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS MAD SUCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS MAD SUCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS MAD SUCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS MAD SUCKS ADVENTURE TIME ROCKS MAD SUCKS 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what do you call 69 babies in one room? a room full of babies

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Roses are red Heres something new Violets are violet not fucking blue

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Two men were standing on the 34th floor of a 65 floor building. They were trapped in a office with one window. here is their conversation: guy1: oh no what should we do??? guy2: I don't know!! this is awful!!! guy1: I have children and a loving wife!!! guy2 walks to the window sill and leans over. guy1: what are you doing? there is more to life we can get through this!! guy 2 jumps out the window guy 1 runs to the window sticks his head out and yells "MAKE MINE CHOCOLATE!!!"

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Roses are grey Violets are grey I'm a dog

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I knocked on my neighbors door to complain about the horrible smell before remembering I killed him the week before, he has no family and no one will ever know.

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How did the blonde girl get pregnant? Sperm enters their vagina and fertilizes an egg cell causing a child to be conceived.

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How do you torture Helen Keller? Give her a cheese-grater and tell her it's a book.

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Wanna hear another joke? Wes Trillows penis!!!

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What did the rake say to the shovel? Nothing, they're both inanimate objects.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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