Q. What did the black lawyer say to the rabbi? A. We're both highly educated professionals.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms Why didn't Sally get back up? She had no legs Guess who's getting prosthetic legs for Christmas! Not Sally.

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A man walked into a bar, he was meeting his friends but was half an hour early, so he went down the road and got a burger. He had recently began dieting to maintain a healthy weight, but had trouble with self control. 30 years later he would gamble away his family's life savings and then go onto live a long and unfulfilled life.

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What did the mute man say to the president? Nothing, he is mute

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Why did the black guy cross the road? Because he found a crosswalk with a walk symbol near his destination.

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Obama says: I can throw one 1,000 dollar bill out the window and make one person really happy Michelle says: I can throw ten 100 dollar bills out the window and make ten people really happy The Co-Pilot says: I can throw you both out the window and make 250,000,000 people really happy tee-hee

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Why did Hitler kill so many Jews? Because he didn't like them.

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A player under the tag "KiTcHeNGuRLxGaMerZ143" got a message after finishing a map on call of duty. "lol ur good."

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Yo momma so fat she should be concerned of contracting Coronary Heart Disease, high blood pressure, type 2 diabetes, abnormal blood fats, metabolic syndrome, cancer, osteoarthritis, sleep apnea, or even obesity hypoventilation syndrome

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Why was the little boy inside the house instead of playing with his friends outside? His dad just died from cancer.

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Knock knock! Ding dong.

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Friend's sister: how many seconds are in 12 o'clock Friend: alot Friend's sister: WELL THEN 12 O'CLOCK IS A REWERJAJSBDKDJDHRJRJFHFKRJRIDBDKSBSDJ *slams door*

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what do you use to blindfold chinese person? dental floss!!

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Q: Whats about two feet in width and length with purple veins throbbing at the sides? A: A midget slowly dying of frostbite

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Roses are red Violets are blue Actually they're purple That's why they're called "violets"

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Knock Knock Who's there? Just open the damn door.

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"If life was fair, I would have a girlfriend" - William Deane

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what do friends and trees have in common? If you hit them with an axe multiple times they fall over

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What is green and can hurt your eyes? I don't know, but its definitely not a laser pointer.

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A man stepped on a nail. He died shortly after of lockjaw.

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Whats the best way to get to a girls heart? A knife.

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-Ask me if i'm a crab. -Are you a crab? -No, why would i be a crab?

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Chuck Norris' balls were so big that he went to the doctor to get them checked on and it was discovered that he had testicular cancer.

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Two men walk into a bar, one ducks

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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