A man with glasses and a cane walks out if a clothing store and accidentally bumps into a woman, knocking his hat off "Can't you watch where you're going?" the woman asks. The man then slaps her, knocking her to the ground. He picks up his new designer fedora, and drives off in his $90,000 Cadillac. The woman, after dusting herself off, gets the guy's plates, convinces a few witnesses to testify against the man, and informs the authorities of an assault. He was later arrested for assault as well as pimping and soliciting sex. He is found guilty in a court of law and is sentenced to 2-5 years in prison, and is doled a hefty fine.

Why did the chicken cross the road. Because most living organisms eventually cross some form path that is commonly known as a road. Roads are hard asphalt that is very good for cars and other wheeled road licensed vehicles.

Q:What happens when you choke a smurf? A: Nothing because smurfs dont exist

Question: You are in a bed between a hot chick and a gay guy, who do you turn your back to? Answer: False, I am to unattractive to find myself in bed with anybody else.

If everyone in China jumped up and down at the same time they would lose all credibility as a nation for organising such a pointless excursion.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree He was dead Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree It was staples to the first monkey Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree Peer pressure

Knock Knock. Whos there? I am the danger! Danger who? I AM THE ONE WHO KNOCKS!

Why did the goose cross the road? He was playing duck, duck, goose

one bright morning in the middle of the night two dead boys got up to fight back to back they faced each other drew thier swords and shot each other a deff policeman heard this noise came and shot the two dead boys if you dont believe this lie is true ask the blind man he saw it too

Why are you on this sight? You're procrastinating. I am too

What's the difference between white and black? White is Caucasian and black is African-American.

Why does the easter bunny hide his eggs? Because he wants to hide the fact he knocked up a chicken.

Two blondes walk into a building......you'd think at least one of them would have seen it.

What was wrong with the tree? Nothing

Q: How many babies does it take to paint a wall? A: Depends how hard you throw them.

penis?

What do you call a monkey lost in a desert? A donkey who was forgotten by his owner.

Knock knock. Who's there? You're a faggot.

How many policemen does it take to change a lightbulb? None they just beat up the room for being black

There are two types of people in the world: 1. people who can extrapolate from incomplete data And I have two wonderful pieces of advice: 1. Never tell anyone everything you know

Why din't Santa come to Timmy's house? Timmy died 6 months ago. :(

Why didn't the chicken cross the road? Cause he was a chicken.

Homosexualism is so gay man

Why did the orange put on the sun block? Because it was afraid of turning into a TAN-gerine!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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