Horse walks into a bar... Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

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Your momma's so fat in her history class they wrote down what they were doing

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What do you call a horse standing alone in an empty field? Tesco's own Beef Lasagne.

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So last night I was f**king my girlfriend and I flip her over and f**k her up the ass. Later we're sitting having a cigarette when she says, "you know it was pretty presumptuous of you to think you can just flip me over and f**k me up the ass." And I said, "presumptuous!? That's a pretty big word for a 5th grader."

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whats deead and gone lewis`s dog. well now it is

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what do you call a person who rides a bike a lot? BATMAN!!! -s.s

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What did Grandma give little Ben for Christmas? a wheelchair

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my candy brings all the kids to the yard and i'm like- get in the van.

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Who has a big nose? YOU!!!

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What did the Carbon atom say to the Oxygen atom? Nothing, basic elements are incapable of speech. It requires a culmination of many atoms to form a living human capable of speaking to another human.

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How many jews can you fit into an ash-tray? none because the volume of a human is much greater than an any ash-tray

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what do you call a Palestinian with a large blade at the throat of an Israeli? a barber

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What do you call a black man? A person

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Why did the boy Drop his Ice Cream? Because he was hit by a bus.

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What did one cat say to another? Cats cant talk

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Q. What's the definition of mixed emotions? A. Watching your attorney drive off a cliff in your new car.

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How did the blonde girl fall down? She didnt see where she was goin

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wounds are red bruises are blue I've got five fingers the middle ones for you

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What did the wife say to the husband? I'm a man.

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What do you think would happen if there was a zombie apocalypse? You would just die.

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Well, I guess it's back to the drawing board.

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What do you call a man that eats a sandwich? Hungry.

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What Makes Me Smile? Face Muscles.

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What's flaming and has wheels? A firepit. I lied about the wheels.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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