Why did Moses part the sea Because it was divisible by 2

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Q: What do is it called when Justin Bieber has sex with a woman? A: Why give it a name when it is never goin to happen!

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Why was the little boy crying? Because he had an undescended testicle

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their was a black man in my family tree hes still hanging on

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A pirate walks into a bar, and the bartender asks, "why do you have a wheel in your pants?"

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One day, an Irishman, a Jew and an American were walking home from a long game of golf. "God, that was a long game" said the American, to which the Irishman replied "aye, that it was." The Irishman then turned to the Jew, and asked him how he managed to get two birdies in succession. The Jew, after a moment of deliberation, began to explain. "Well, it all began when I was six. See, there was a mountain right next to Casparia, the village I lived for most of my life back in Wales. Every day, I'd come back from school, and ask my dad why nobody ever attempted to scale the mountain. 'To do so would be an unnecessary risk, son, and people are too busy working to put food and water on the tables for their families to undertake something so foolish.' One night, when insomnia was getting the better of me, I decided to get a better look at the mountain, so I strapped on my boots, my fur coat and some woolly mittens and left for the mountain. After a few hours of walking, I approached the closest hill which gave me a perfect view of the mountain's first peak, and there I spotted a polar bear, mauling a hiker to death." The Jew paused to check the Irishman and the American were following, when the American spoke up; "hold on there, there aren't any polar bears in Casparia!" The Irishman also spoke up; "there isn't even a village called Casparia, well, anywhere!" The Jew smiled slightly, and a few seconds later the smile broke out into a gigantic grin, and he finally replied: "exactly".

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What did the French-Italian couple name their child? Angelo Pierre Smith, giving tribute to the father's uncle Angelo, and the mother's great-grandfather, Pierre.

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Your momma is so fat she has an increased risk or cardiac arrest due to obesity. I ridicule her based on the theory that her morbid obesity is due to the fact that she has a diet consisting of large amounts of calories and high fat content and/or she is known to be very sedentary and does not partake in physical exercise. However, if this increase in body fat content is due to genetics I retract my previous statement and wish only the best for her, also, you might want to lower your calorie intake and visit your local gym, lest you succumb to morbid obesity, much like your mother.

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i know leaves are green because of chlorophyll but i don't know how to get a mortgage this is the kind if shit your parents pay for

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How many babies does it take it to feed a grown man? It depends on the size of the man, how hungry he is and how big the babies are.

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A seal walks into a club... the seals freinds later inform him they are now at a bar the seal then walks into the bar... the seal was later beaten to death

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As a stand-up comedian, I've been really interested in how comedians have recovered from jokes not hitting making fun of the fact. Recently, I was in a situation where a rhetorical question didn't hit, and anti-joking (lamenting on the lack of a punchline sarcastically) ended up generating the laugh I needed to move on! Hurray for Anti-jokes! Me: You know the gym Extreme Fitness? Audience: SILENCE Me: (sarcastically) Yes, exactly. That's exactly how that interaction went in my mind when I was practising at home. I ask question - audience responds euphorically - I continue with my joke... http://michaeljagdeo.wordpress.com/2012/01/29/anti-jokes-how-to-recover-when-a-joke-doesnt-hit/

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Q: What did the mute kid say to his mother ?

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Girl: How do I know if I'm Jewish? Guy: Are you Jewish? Girl: No. Guy: There ya go.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he had very recentley made his escape from a nearby farm, of which was owned by a man close to dying of a Rhabdoid Tumor. His family was in mourn.

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Why didn't LeBron James go to college? Because the opportunity to secure millions of dollars in salary straight out of high school was too lucrative for him to pass up.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, There are so many different endings to this, it makes me just wanna Shoot Myself!

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How do you stop a bus? You press the brake pedal, causing the brake pads to squeeze the tires. Which will slow the momentum of the bus to the point of stopping.

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To the 'am i pregnant now?'-section: Yesterday I spilled mustard on my brand new pants. That was just before I went out to some clubs. That night, after I had enjoyed myself with friends and alcohol, while I was walking home I was raped several times by big, black and hung men. It hurt a lot and my anus is still bleeding. My question is: What is the best way to get rid of the mustard stain?

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Bob: Hey Jim, what's up? Jim: Obviously the sky, oh and i see a few planes too. by the way why are you asking me why don't you just look up?

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I dont often wash my hands in the bathroom but when i do its so people dont think im gross.

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What is pink, female and has two dicks? A mother with two sons, both called Richard.

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What is orange, has 7 legs, and makes the same noise as a crow? If you can think of something that fits all of those characteristics, you need help

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What's one thing that bothers EVERYONE? Mother Theresa

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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