Q: What do you say to someone who makes fun of you and is bigger than you? A: Nothing, you just punch him in the toe and run away

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What did the little boy with no arms or legs get for Christmas? A bike.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

a blond walks in to a post... OUCH

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Whats the difference between cake and dead babies? Cakes make people happy while dead babies are a sad and disturbing sight to see.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why is 3 less than 4? To get to the other side

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Whats the difference between a black man and a banana? Banana's don't hijack planes.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

When A Shouty Man Goes Into His House. His Sister Nearly Kills Him So When A Shouty Man Goes Into A Library. The Books Try To Kill Him.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

There is a Mexican, American, and an Italian on a boat.They start to sink. All of them brought things from their country. The Mexican threw burritos over and said, "We have too much of these." The American threw american cheese over and said, "We have too much of these in our country." The Italian throws over pizza and says the same thing. They are still sinking. Then, the American picks up the Mexican, throws him over and says, "We have too much of these in our country."

thumb_up thumb_down +5

why did the mexican cross the road? To get into America. Why did the chicken cross the road? It was on its way to warn everyone that the sky was falling Why did the horse go to the other side of the field? He liked green grass. Why did Chuck Norris cross the road? cause he's Chuck Norris. Why did the man get a check in the mail every month? Cause he's black Why did Obama Cross the road? Cause he lost control of congress why is there all this blank space?

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A man is on his way home from a business trip and walks into his house. He is quite as to not wake up his wife or kids. He gets to the bedroom to find his wife in bed with the neighbor. He is shocked at what he came home to and decides to file for divorce. She was a stay at home mom and loses everything because of the divorce. The man woke up from his horrible nightmare and kissed his wife on the cheek. She has always been faithful. He decides to tell her about the dream and, for insurance, emphasizes the part where she loses everything in the divorce. They happily live out the rest of their lives together.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What did the mexican say to the black guy before he went to work. Hey

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why does the deer cross the road? It had just birthed two deer, one of which was hungry, and food was on the other side, the other had been hit by 4x4 Hemi V8 Supercharged F1-50.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

why did the boy fall off his bicycle? because his dad threw a refrigerator at him.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What is white And taste like sheep A sheep

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why didn't Tom have to pay for his ride to the funeral? Because he was dead and in a coffin.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Velcro. What a rip off.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Q: what did one guy say to another guy? A: I don't know!

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What's the hardest part of eating a vegetable? The wheelchair.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

walk into your friend’s house and say “what’s up with the dead guy out front?” (you have to murder a person for this joke to work)

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why does Michael Jackson like twenty eight year olds? Michael Jackson is dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did the chicken get taken into the kitchen? If u dont get this you need to go b ack to school

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What does the Fawkes say? "Remember, remember, the 5th of November..."

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What did the man do when the woman broke up with him? He changed his facebook status to single.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Son: i like gaming Mom: you are wasting your life *son jumps in trash can

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops