you are getting chased by a lion, a tiger, and a zebra. What do you do???? Get off the Merry-go-round.

Why was little Sammy crying? because she had a frog stapled to her forehead

honest politician

How does Hitler tie his shoes? With little Nazis.

lybia

What's big and green and would probably kill you if it fell out of a tree? A pool table.

Why did the baby fall out of the trees? Cause it was dead.

Why did the rabbit cross the road? He was attempting vehicular suicide after being told yet again that he was "silly" and "Trix are for kids."

Why did the black lady pick out a white dress? Because she thought it was a pretty white dress.

Teacher: "Kenny, what is the biggest mammal on land?" Kenny: "A stranded whale."

Q: how do u wake lady gaga up? A: you poke-poke poke her face.

Montague goes to the alcoholics meeting and says "Hello I'm Montague and I am an alcoholic" Evreyone points at him and chants "LOSER!, LOSER!, LOSER!, LOSER!" Montague is appaled, he expected to be welcomed with sympathy and respect. Then he realises his mistake. He has walked into meeting with a bottle of whisky and is wearing a Justin Beiber T Shirt

Why do sea guls fly over the sea? In order to get from place to place, flying is much faster than walking. Sea guls live on a diet of salt-water fish, and the ocean is where their main food supply subsides.

The Moon Landing.

"Solids tunderf" he said, while chewing his gum.

why did joe drop his clock? billy ran into him, therfore making the clock wobble in his hand until it fell at 34 mph.

Q: Why did Frank have a big horse named Bubba? A: He was allergic to cats

A gay man walks into a pregnant woman

Mind magic for fuck ups: Did you know you can train your dog to magically arrive by saying YOUR name! Just tell it what your name is a lot and voila! Moral: made me laugh, fuck the rest of you XD

Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house? No. Neither has he.

I just missed my bus. At least I haven't got cancer.

why are little kids like tree's? ... they both fall down when you hit them with an axe.

Why did the courageous young boy always follow his dreams? His IQ sucked.

Why did the girl gO shopping?! Because she got paid and wanted to blow(;

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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