bronson watt walks into a bar.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What did chad do when his friends came over? I'm not much of a fiction man personally.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why did the man suddenly burst into flames in room. The room was dark, so he lit a match. It turns out there was hydrogen in the room and when fire touches hydrogen, it sets on fire.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What do you call a baked bean falling from 10,000 feet? A baked bean

thumb_up thumb_down -12

I was gonna clean my room. But then my mom did it.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Knock, knock. Who's There? The Fire Department...

thumb_up thumb_down -12

It was okay, then Alice my friend and a nurse insisted (she can be a total bitch) I take a painkiller, of course that messed up my focus completely and threw off my hypnotic suggestion which I use to shut down the pain receptors. Ironically I cannot seem to shut off my allergy to dust. Oh, yeah it was the standard bullshit Mensa test, ten patterns or something, oh and while I am terrible at trivia, I am actually much smarter than a fifth grader, I mean one kid told me he was smarter because he could do math better than me and he could, so I choked the little bitch to death, who is the smartest one now?

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What do you do if you find blood in your poo? Stop stabbing yourself in the arse with a fork on wednesdays...

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why is Stevie Wonder always smiling? Because he's rich...

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Q.What has flashing lights and really bad dancing A.Baby haveing an eppilectic fit

thumb_up thumb_down -12

how many pancakes does it take to get fat if u answered this question your already fat

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why was Timmy crying? because his impaled his dog while in a drunken rage

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Knock knock Who's there? Tom Tom who? Tom Rodgers I don't know you Tom decides to leave the house because the person in the house does not recognize him

thumb_up thumb_down -12

There was a jew, a german and you Despite you were there, the holocaust was You should feel guilty

thumb_up thumb_down -12

A rooster is sitting on the top of a house. It lays an egg. Which way does it roll? This can be solved by using the dimensions and angles of the roof to find the most probable direction it would roll (Incorporating in the power of gravity of course). Of course if the egg from the roosters uteris came out in an akward or unlikely way, it could roll the other way.This can be factored in very quickly because with the video evidence of the rooster having the egg you can see how it was delivered(the video is not of which way it rolls, just of the delivery).

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What's worse than a dead baby in a trash can A hundred dead babies in a trash can Whats worse than a hundred dead babies in a trash can A live one at the bottom Whats worse than that It eats it way out Whats worse than that It brings friends

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Two Jews walked into a bar. Then bought it.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

(kid is eating a round fruit) friend: Get me an apple too. Kid: I wish I could The kids friend later realizes that his friend was actually eating a peach.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

A blonde walks into a bar; she orders and enjoys her drink and then leaves with her thirst quenched.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What did the serial killer do when his check bounced? He promptly deposited more money into his account.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Whats worst than stubbing your toe? The Holocaust.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

If an aeroplane falls from 15,000 feet in the air and crashes into and orphanage is it possible that no-one will get hurt? No,the aeroplane will destroy the orphange hurting the property value.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What's green, has four legs, and falls out of a tree? A pool table in a tree

thumb_up thumb_down -12

why was the man at the tuna fish factory mad? because he was going through intense emotional trauma happening in his life because of problems with his wife and child.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops