What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into a worm and finding an apple

why did chuck norris walk on water? because he's chuck norris

Knock Knock.. Who's there? The IRS, you owe $50,000 in back taxes and we're repossessing your home.

what is racecar backwards in reverse

*prepares this to get negative votes*

so a blonde walks into a bank, opens her purse, pulls out her check and cashes it. She then returns to her car and proceeds home.

So a person asked a blonde in America which was closer: the Moon or Canada? The blonde responded "Canada"

why was 6 afraid of 7? Becuase 7 watched his friend die. He slowly went into a depression so deep he went on a murderous rampage.

Whats red and dirty? Her period

When I was just a little kid, my daddy lest the house and we all joined him to wherever he wanted to live.

How did the girl get her Mardi Gras beads? She purchased them at a reasonable price from a party store.

Q:Why couldn't little Bobby read the bible? A: His parents weren't into religion and he was blind

What's the square root of yo mama? That which when multiplied by itself equals yo mama.

What do you call a black baby? A nigglet

steven hawking walks into a bar

What do you call a black man who sells drugs? A pharmacist.

A child walked into the bar. He was promptly asked to leave because he was too young.

What do you call a creepy person trying to break into your house? A robber

What did the kid with cancer get for christmas? Hope.

Asshole huh? Dont give me any ideas. Again you are not high on weed are you? Then that's really bad.

Why did the chicken cross the road? The cognitive capacity of the chicken is significantly underdeveloped in comparison to humans; thus, comprehending a chicken's motives is impossible. Furthermore, interspecies communication is largely understudied - a mysterious division of science that may never be fully revealed. Therefore, one could safely theorize that no single human could breach this gap ...in communication differences (assuming chickens do, in fact, communicate) and in turn, could not understand the chicken's reasoning behind its choice to cross the road (excluding the possibility of psychic connections between chickens and humans [see 'Dog Whisperer' for a more clear explanation on interspecial psychic relations])That being said, the only scientific and logical way one could understand the aforementioned question is through observation. For example, perhaps food was located on the other side of the road. However, this seems to pose a plethora of other questions: Why was the chicken near a road and not in a coop stocked with adequate food? Was this a wild chicken? Are there wild chickens? Do wild chickens often cross roads? Are wild chickens dangerous? If so, why hasn't there been warnings about dangerous, wild chickens crossing roads? The answer to these questions may never be discovered or explained.

Guy: "Did you hear about the guy who cried wolf?" Friend: "Yes. He was pulling your leg. People cry tears not wolves." Guy: "How did you know he was pulling my leg?" Friend: "If you look down, he's still there pulling it."

How do you kill a blonde? Shoot her repeatedly in the face and then slit her throat.

Nobody likes you ya noob! (-_-) *sniff* MAN YOU SMELL BAD

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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