Why is this the best day of 10 year old Johnny's life? His parents were killed in 9/11, and Osama Bin Laden has been found and killed. What, Too soon?

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What is worse then finding an apple in your worm? Not a lot.

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roses are red vilest are blue shes mine and if you take my place my fist will go in your face

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Who is gay and sits next to me in my architecture class? The same Griffin Kid.

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A priest, a pedophile, and a child rapist walks into a bar. He orders a beer.

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A dyslexic man hears a joke, and laffs.

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knock knock who's there Bob oh hi, come in

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Why does Billy Mays yell? He doesn't, he's dead.

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A rock walks into a bar. The town goes into extreme panic and is abandoned because rocks are inanimate objects.

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Yo momma so fat, she's in the hospital dying of morbid obesity. Sorry man.

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What doesn't kill you makes you stronger. Unless this event results in you being a vegetable.

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What's clear, glass-like, and makes your brain feel like it's exploding just by smelling it? Crystal Meth

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what is orange red and blue, has wheels , and can talk? i don't know that's why i asked you

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The farmer left the gate open, letting all his livestock escape, and crushing his prospects of trying to keep his family fed.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Immigration. You're headed back to mexico.

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what do you call a guy called Bill? Bill

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Roses are red Violets are too I am color blind How about you

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What did the fish say when he swam into a wall? Nothing, he was a fish.

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Three men walk into a bar. They order drinks. This joke isn't funny.

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Two men are making sandwiches, one man is spreading peanut butter over the bread and the other man is spreading honey and Italian raspberry jam over rye bread. the man with the peanut butter sandwich looks over and says "HEY, where did you get the rye bread?" and the man with the rye bread says "well my wife made it yesterday and I would be delighted if you come over for some tea, and tried some of my wife's homemade rye bread".

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What's big, white, and can't climb a tree? A refrigerator

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Q: Why couldnt the kid feel his legs A: He had no arms

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Yeah, it makes sense if you think about it, I changed my alias back and forth from Axel Knight, to Axel White, first because Axel White sounded not only as a opposite to Nero, but also because it sounded like something a Nazi leader would call himself, we went renegade and used that in order to draw in and bust a lot of Neo Nazi`s with enough money and bad intentions to make bad stuff happen. But thats another story, I heard about an Axel Knight partaking in Point Zero, had I known you where the leader (I hope you are being honest friend) I would have warned you much sooner, but there was no way for me to know if you where working together... Since you literally where.

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A guy walks up to a girl and says: " hey can I have your number so can I have your text you later?" she says " no" he says " why ?" she says" guess" He says " look if you don't like me thats okay, " he gets up and walks away, turns out she doesn't have a cell phone, she was gonna give him her house number to call.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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