What did the mute girl say to the other mute girl?

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Homeless man....it's what's for dinner!

thumb_up thumb_down -10

My did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why do hummingbirds hum? They don't realize how annoying it is.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why did the German Constitutional Court issue Decision 2 BvR 1390/12 on September 12, 2012? Because they wanted to refuse the request for a temporary injunction in regards to the European Stability Mechanism!

thumb_up thumb_down -10

There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest. He sent in ten different puns hoping at least one of the puns would win but, unfortunately, the highest he placed was 4th.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Knock, knock Who's there? You... and you just lost the game. -Eka

thumb_up thumb_down -10

POLITE NOTICE: Management Committee here. Please refrain from posting any anti-jokes which are not offensive to protected groups.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

man 1 walks by man 2 man 1 says hey buddy whats up man 2 responds do i know you man 1 says no but i saw you seeing a movie on friday man 2 says oh cool but wasn't that movie great man 1 responds ya and man 1 and man 2 become best friends plus man 1 only liked man 2 because he was rich!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Two cows are standing in a field. One says to the other: "Hey are you worried about this Mad Cow Disease?? the other cow says "Nah, not at all mate...!" "Why Not?" says the cow "Because I'm a CHICKEN!"

thumb_up thumb_down -10

A dog walks into a bar. the owner of the bar didn't allow animal in his bar and he helped the dog outside again

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Question: how many times a power rangers episode show a power rangets face ANSWER: dont ask me im not that big of a power rangers!

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Q: Why did the bear fall out of the tree? A: Because humans tranquilized him, brought him to an animal shelter 100 miles away from his home. Then after he got out he got hit by a car and died. PETA is watching.....always

thumb_up thumb_down -10

A man and a woman are in a bar. The man says, "Excuse me miss, but you're very attractive, may I please buy you a drink?" to which the woman replies, "Thank you very much, but I'm afraid I've never been to Mexico."

thumb_up thumb_down -10

what did the cerial killer get for christmas an electric chair

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Unconventional thinking Something else out of one: So sometimes I feel there is something I want right? But I don't feel like I deserve it yet or i hesitate although I fucking want it So I go home, decide to take my time before I decide to buy it, and sit my ass on a chair covered with spikes until I decide it is time to get it, Moral 1: You want to take the better decision but don't feel time is right? Some spikes up your ass is not only the perfect way to change your mind, but in this case an excellent metaphor to why you want to keep doing whats best for you. Moral best: Think if you could get all that time you spent hesitating back, would that not be awesome? What if you just stop hesitating now? Would that not be aweso... Go fuckyourself... Nerometal Fuck Neronism... Cool name though

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Get the FREE anti jokes app with loads and loads of anti jokes anywhere you go, even offline! All the funniest and most popular, and loads more new ones. Why not? After all, it's free! http://itunes.apple.com/us/app/hilarious-anti-jokes-lite/id438092279?mt=8&ls=1

thumb_up thumb_down -12

I can't make my mind about the debate on legalisation of marijuana. Some days I think it's a good thing. Somes days I think it's a bad thing. And some days, I don't think about it at all and I just think it's a very nice day.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Alice, seriously do as I say, I lived with the man for over 16 years, those are not hallucinations, its PTSD, without ritalin he will just go trough that agony for nothing, not coffee not chocolate or any of that, anything that helps his focus. Seriously do not be a bitch Alice, listen to him and do as he says. Its not the first time people think he is having hallucinations when his eyes start moving back and forth like crazy, he is not seeing things, he is experiencing this as if they where real, and just because he can stay in that state for days, does not mean he is meant to go trough that kind of agony because of your ethics or caring or whatever your hesitation might be, the man can go without food for weeks if he has to, but not after you sneak trash like Zopiclone into his system. That was a mistake of yours, make up for it Alice, or ill make you pay.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

A prostitution ring operates out of a subway. How much does the prostitute with a foot long penis cost? About $300, for a 12 inch penis is very rare and desirable.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Hey! I just met you. And this may seem crazy. So here's my number: Now Get in the van.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

the story below is a truee story...unfortunately!!!!!!!!! :'(

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Awesome! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us <

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why was the truck making noises? It was backing up.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops