Why was the kid mad? Because he died.

A Fat person walks out of mcDonalds

Why did Jimmy fall out of the tree. Cause' I shot him.

Why did the chicken cross the road? It tried. The chicken was run over by a distracted driver. The chicken turned out to be Farmer Brendan's prized egg hen who wandered away. The hen provided a large portion of Brendan's income and living. The farmer, deprived of his vital income source, was forced to sell his farm and live on the city streets.

A little boy walks up to his father and asks him a question, "Daddy, how are babies born?" His father then replies in an enthusiastic manner, "You see, I stuck my dick in your mom's vag and started pounding. Apparently two condoms defeat the purpose."

Roses are red Violets are blue I have altzhiemers Cheese on toast.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Not a blind guy.

What do you call a 9 year old with no friends? A Sandyhook survivor.

Me and my wife set and watch the eleven o'clock news every night. My wife always thinks that she has the different disease that is mentioned each day. One night she was practically in tears telling me that she had the disease that was talked about that night. I looked at her and said "honey, there is no way that you have testicular cancer. You don't even have testiculars." The End

What's big, black, juicy, large, and succulent? A gourmet meatball.

If an orange is orange then why isn't a banana called a yellow? Because the word 'banana' comes from the Arabic word for finger as it obviously resembles a finger. The person that named the orange was equally lazy, but just not Arabic.

Q: What Would Canada Be With out Nature A: Peru

"Hheheheh Hey Butthead"- "Were Gonna Score!"

what did the old lady die of old age...

Why do they give old people Viagra at nursing homes? Because erectile function decreases with increasing age, and it would be unfair to needlessly deny senior citizens the right to consensual intercourse if that is what they want.

What can fly, but can not swim? Malaysia Airlines Flight 370

why does the guy jack off to black on black porn? because he's black

A priest, a rabbi, and a monk are standing near a cliff. They say that they are of the best religion. The priest jumps off the cliff and says "God save me", he dies. The rabbi says "Allah save me", he dies. The monk says "Buddha save me" he is saved, in relief he says "Oh thank God" he dies

Charles Manson is innocent.

What is useless and over-payed? Our government.

Why did the chicken cross the road? There is no possible way for humans and chickens to communicate with each other. Therefore we cannot know.

A black man walks into KFC. the whole room..THE GAME.

how many jews can you fit in a volkswagon? 2 in the front, 2 in the back, and 6 million in the ash trey.

Whats worse than being a jew? Having all of your friends viciously murdered at a party that you weren't invited to.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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