What did the Jew say to the German? He said hello.

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knock knok Who's there The police, I regret to inform you your son was killed in a horrific traffic accident

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What did one umbrella say to the other umbrella? Nothing, umbrellas cannot instigate a conversation, because they cannot talk.

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Why do many men find it difficult to make eye contact? Debilitating autism.

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knock knock whos there knock knock whos there knock knock whos there poor billy didnt know that the knocking was just a tree branch and he stayed asking the same question for 21 years

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What did death say to life? Go die

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What did the mute say to the deaf man?

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Why did the little kid use pillows at night? Because he was constipated.

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Say this really fast. Ice Bank Mice Elf It'll take a while for dumbasses to understand.

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A man with Alztheimers walks into a bar. He forgets the purpose of being there.

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How do you know if a girl is special? If she hates justin bieber, Twilight, and is open to threeways.

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What would you do when pigs fly? Pigs cannot fly, therefore this question is impractical.

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What does a black man love more than anything? His family you racist c u n t.

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What does samios search on google? Shemale gey big t.it lactating big c.ock An.al tearing Ana.l dilation school girl rape compilation

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If the Trojan Horse was a deadly deception, is it My Lethal Phony?

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A talent agency is giving auditions and is just about to rap it up when a family shows up. They reluctantly agree to their "brief" audition given that they had found no suitable talent that day. The routine starts with the father starting 6 chainsaws at once while simultaneously starting a juggling/lumberjacking routine. His beautiful wife proceeds to toss him additional chainsaws (as he continually throws them for dramatic effect) while also maintaining a hypnotizing dance which seems to drain your desire to leave from your very soul. The children take turns jumping in between the chainsaws while doing a silent replay of the movie, "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon." After it plays out the father tosses the final chainsaw up in the air which lands standing straight, quivering in the dust of the studio. The studio manager says, "Why that's an AMAZING act!! I'll sign you right now! What do you call your act?" In response to which, the father shits on his desk.

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How do you sneak Jews across the border? In an ashtray.

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i just got pulled over by a cop. he asked me if i had been drinking, i said no. he asked me to step out of my car so he could look inside i looked nervous, and had no other choice to step out. he knew there was something in there he looked in and saw it THE REFRIDGERATOR

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What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

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roses are red violets are blue everyone is stupid how about you? -I'm not Im black

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What did the redneck say about his missing tractor? Where's my tators.

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Why is an elephant gray Because it's GRAY!!! duh

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why couldnt justin beiber get into the club? because hes not legal

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How do you get Helen Keller to keep a secret? You politely ask her not to tell anyone.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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