The snake rides the bicycle in the forest, the rabbit sees this, and says "hey snake, you don't have legs" "oh damn" replies the snake and eats the rabbit because of the insolence

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Whats the difference between a fish and whale? Ones bigger than the other.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Knock Knock, Who's There? The The Who? YYYYEEEEEEAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Q: how do you get a live elephant into a refrigerator? A: you buy an industrial sized refrigerator and then walk the elephant slowly but surely through the door.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did the black man get lynched? Because he committed eight murders and six double homicides, and the judge wanted him dead...

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A nun with shoes on walks into a bar with her husband.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why is Satan evil? Because he makes people eat apples.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Q:what is a wheelchairs biggest fear A: steps

thumb_up thumb_down +10

#Hanging Degus

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What happend to the man who walked into a forrest? He got raped by a giant vicious mutant spider

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Knock knock. Who's there? 9/11 9/11 Who? YOU SAID YOU'D NEVER FORGET.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What did the dog do in the phone booth? Nothing, as dog do not have opposable thumbs and cannot grip objects. The previous user must have left the door open and the dog walked in, only to leave a few moments later.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Well... At that time everyone expected that the only people that knew hypnosis where either "born with the gift from the stars" or was some old beard man that spent "hundreds of years in the mountains".or a wizard or a shamanic priest, or well some guy in a particular stupid suit of sorts, it increased its potency simple as that, as having people stare at me and laugh because "You are not some beardy guru master" is a pretty bad start for the effective use of mass hypnosis. Mono-ideoism actually just means really concentrated focus on a single object or state of mind, the thing about the name (aside from sounding kinda mono-idiotic) is that strong focus alone does NOT lead to a state of relaxation which is one of the prime requirements to achieve a state of trance, I mean try focusing on something really hard and your body produces a huge amount of beta waves, aka stress. All of that is bullshit, but my horrible childhood did leave me with the "gift" to space out pretty quickly, so I learned it pretty fast without really knowing what it was at first.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did the fireman die? For various reasons,one was because he was burnt alive.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What is the difference between a black man and a burnt pizza? -Nothing there both black.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

An albino and a jew walk in to a bar. They both order the same drink and chat for a few minutes before the albino must get home to his wife. The jew leaves shortly after, tipping the bar tender a generous amount for his superb service.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What do Bruce Lee and Michael Jackson have in common? They are both dead

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A: Knock knock B: Who's there? A: Doctor B: Doctor who? A: Doctor Johnson, i'm here to check up on you. How's the medication going? B: It's going well thank you, it's working. A: That's very good to hear. Hope you recover soon. B: Thank you!

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What's the difference between a BMW and a murder victim? I don't have a BMW in my garage.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What did the baseball coach say to his son? Nothing. He was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What does a bird and a human have in common? They both use long, hard sticks.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What is the difference between a seal and an armadillo? They are both aquatic animals, except for the armadillo.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Female rights.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

How do you get a child off a swing? Throw a fridge at him

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops