How do you make a plumber sad? You kill his family.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

what does a black person and an elephant have in common? what? they are both living beings who have their place in the world.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What's the difference between a Jewish child and pizza? Pizza does not scream in the oven.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Have you seen Stevie Wonder's wife? No. Oh don't worry then.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why did the bud driver drop his ice cream? Because he hit a boy.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What's a foot long and slippery A dick

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why didn't the cow go to the candy store It had diabetes poor cow :(

thumb_up thumb_down -19

knock knock whose there? banana banana who? knock knock? whose there? banana knock knock? whose there? banana

thumb_up thumb_down -19

How do you torture Helen Keller? You put her on a table and slowly pull her limbs off

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Excuse me, I have a shitload of stuff to do, so you are Eliza huh? I thought that was just one person conveying something to someone. Anyway, what is your name? My name is actually Nero, but you do not strike me as an Eliza, first name is more than enough. You know, if you dare, Ill be back shortly, I was gonna shower but then again, I haven't moved at all today, so yeah. Saved you? I have never saved anyone well, excuse me then, see you around, worry less about people bothering with us chatting, hell they might risk learning something (not a chance, people here are fucking jackasses, with one exception, and I do not mean me this time).

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What did the framer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

thumb_up thumb_down -19

An Arabic Muslim is on a plane. He's flying to Chicago.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Wait what? What if you use the what what? Sorry I am still like super hypnotic trippy, dont worry though, I dont want it to end.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

ur mamas so ugly cause when she looked up at the sky it started to rain

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why did little Sally drop her ice cream? She got ran over by the school bus

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What do you call a Muslim that walks onto a plane? A passenger

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why didn't Debbie go to the theme park with the rest of her family? Because she died the week before.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why did the boy throw the clock out of the window? Because it was broken.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Ed Milliband looks like an amphibian.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Knock Knock. Who's there? ........ It turns out it was Helen Keller.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Roses are red Violets are blue Plants are green because of the high levels of mitochondria in their cells.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why Johnny's parents threw out his broken bike? - ´Cause Johnny got ran over by a drunken driver yesterday, when he was cycling back home from school.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Why was 6 afraid of 7? because 7 had a gun.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

why couldnt the man dunk? because he was 3' 2" and a legal midget.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops