Hey I just met you and this is crazy, but Im on bath salts, and you're face looks tasty;)

Why did the parents order the 16 year old daughter to move out of Virginia? Because she lost her virginity

Q: What do you call a girl who wears a tuxedo to prom? A: Comfortable with the way she looks.

why did the teacher say that the student did well in class? because the student did well in class

Why didn't the cat have any legs? Because it was a snake

What did Chuck Norris say when he stubbed his toe? "Oh shit I stubbed my toe."

What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear!

What do animals eat at the beach? Sandwitches

Roses are Brown Violets are Brown Whos been shitting on my garden??

Friends are like snowflakes When you pee on them they disappear

An Irishman, Scotsman and Englishman were jumping into well because they were told whatever they shouted when they fell they landed on. I lied and they died, hehe

your mothers so blonde she has yellow hair.

Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Monkey see monkey do. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the second monkey.

A police officer walks into a doughnut shop. He approaches the cashier and hands him 20$. He says "Here, I saw you drop this on your way in" he promptly leaves the store.

What did the blind man say to the deaf man? Can you speak up? I cant hear you!

From a picture, it is difficult to tell the difference between an apatosaurus and a diplodocus.

Whats worse than losing your car keys? Watching your 4 year old son get visciously raped by a 20stone sex hungry pedophile and knowing you cant do anything about it because the sex hungry pedophile is your dad and he is the alpha male of the family so he has full mating rights.

A black man and a mexican are falling off a cliff. Who lands first? The police officer.

what do u call 2 puerto rician men playing basketball? won on won

A man walks into a bar... And orders a glass of beer to cool himself off after a long day at the quarry.

Knock, knock. Who's there? Bailiffs.

,try this on a girl, say "can I pop your cherry.........soda bottle cap off your cherry soda bottle?"

Q. Why did Steve Carell, the 40 year old virgin, fail to get laid? A. Erectile Dysfunctioning.

You know the drill, the world is not as black and white as it was before, just because we are not on the same side, does not make us enemies either. As for whatever is going on, I can assure you I had nothing to do with the fall of the first underground, and neither will I make sure whatever you scraped together, large or small falls either, I realize I should have thought this trough some more, but we had little time to act on this one.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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