Dan walked into a jelly fish

thumb_up thumb_down -15

There are two fish in a tank. They both die, tanks are used for warfare.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why did the goose cross the road? He was playing duck, duck, goose

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What is a dog's favorite color? None,dogs have colorblindness.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Knock knock. Who's there? Boo. Boo who? Boo Richard.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

How do you know a black person is in your house? You see him in your house.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Q: If it takes a chicken a day and a half to lay an egg and a half, then how long would it take a monkey to kick the seeds off of a dill pickle. A: I don't know. That's a stupid question.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why did the fireman wear red suspenders? To honor his father, Jonathan "Red" Hoffner, who was tragically killed in the line of duty. While attempting to save 3 small children in a trailer park fire, the elder firefighter suffered 3rd degree burns over 80 percent of his body. "Red" was rushed to a local hospital and lingered for several agonizing days. He began to rally but a careless error by a night nurse led to his unfortunate demise. His son was psychologically unable to wear anything but red suspenders every day for the rest of his life - not only because of his father's death but also because it was he who had maliciously set the fire in the first place.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

knock knock who's there who who who and if u say something about an I will punch u in the face u stupid cike!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have a gun! So I KILL YOU!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -15

And more;

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Whats the difference between a jew and a pizza? Jews undergo metabolism, maintain homeostasis, possess a capacity to grow, respond to stimuli, reproduce and, through natural selection, adapt to their environment in successive generations. More complex living organisms can communicate through various means.[1][5] A diverse array of living organisms (life forms) can be found in the biosphere on Earth, and the properties common to these organisms—plants, animals, fungi, protists, archaea, and bacteria—are a carbon- and water-based cellular form with complex organization and heritable genetic information. Pizza does not.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

"Hello, is this the Krusty Krab?" "No, this is Patrick."

thumb_up thumb_down -15

How do you get a tower to move? Hit it with a plane.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What did the fish say when he swam into a wall? Nothing, he was a fish.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

I love you! Haikus are easy But sometimes they don't make sense Squirrels are rabbid Yes mi this is a haiku!!!! I know ur reading this so grape grape grape

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What do you call a cow with no legs. Dead, the farmer cut them off.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Q: What is the scariest thing ever? A: Child Birth.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What Makes Me Smile? Face Muscles.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Golgo12 here, I can see how some people consider you insane Nero, glad to know point zero is the starting ground of your elysum, that should show them how a modern society should be like. You got six years left to live? That sucks man sorry to hear that. Ur real name is Nero? Axel Knight sounds so much more... You.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why did Sally fall of the swing? She had Down-Syndrome.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why did the black 10 year old miss school? Because his grandmother just had a severe heart attack and the whole family is coming in to visit and pay their last respects.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Did you hear about the german girl who had sex and died................. it was 50 years later after she had a family of about five kids and lived a happy life as a nurse

thumb_up thumb_down -17

why couldnt helen keller drive she was a woman

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops