What's the hardest part of rollerblading? Telling your dad you're gay.

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What kind of cheese isn't yours Nacho Cheese actually it depends on the type of cheese that you stole due to your kleptomania

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What do you call a blonde with a broken arm? A cripple.

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Whats worse than bitting into a apple and finding a worm? Being the worm who just lost nearly half his whole house because some jerk decided to eat an apple on the ground, whom after eating the apple destroyed the worms self-esteem by making the comparison to the worse thing possible. Or being raped by Zeus in the form of a worm.

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Why did Sally fall of the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock! Who's there? Sally with prosthetic arms.

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-Knock knock. ~Use the doorbell. -Ding dong. ~The witch is dead!

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Why did the woman spray a black man in the eyes with pepper spray, then promptly run away? Because the woman was a notorious criminal and was currently robbing the man's house, but was caught in the act so she used pepper spray as her last line of defense while she fled from the scene before the man could call the police to detain her and put her in prison for her crimes.

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Did you fall on your head when you were a baby Oh, Im very sorry.

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A jew, a catholic and a muslim walk into a bar. The catholic man dies of a massive heart attack and the other two men mourn their friend for weeks.

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Statistics show That people with the most birthdays Live the longest

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Why did the horse escape from his stable? He didn't. He stayed there all night and his owner took him out the next day as the weather was beautiful.

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What did the boyfriend give his girlfriend for her birthday? A S.T.D

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Knock knock Who's there Isabelle Isabelle who? Is-a-bell necessary on a bike

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How do you get a woman out of a car? You drive it into a river and her body will float to the top.

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How did the fat guy servive the plane crash??????? He bounced

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How do you get a chicken to cross the road? Get him in the other side

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Hhahahahahhahhahahahahhaahhayournanisdeadhahhahahahahahahah

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Whats great about F***ing twenty one year olds? There's twenty of them.

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Why do the lesbians where pants? Because they are extremely comfourtable and the best for cold days

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Whats red and dirty? Her period

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A man goes into the doctors office for his yearly checkup. The man waits patiently for several minutes until the doctor is ready to see him. After about ten minutes pass, the doctor is ready to see him. The man enters the doctors office. He passes all of the necessary tests. The doctor and him talk for a while. After a few minutes, the doctor says, "Okay, thanks for coming. See you next year." The man thanks the doctor and leaves.

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Cool Brian

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How do you stop a baby alien from crying? Watch what its mother does to soothe it and then try and copy that.

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How much cocain did Charlie sheen do? Enough to kill 2 and a half men

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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