Why did Marilyn Manson surgically remove 2 ribs from his body? To suck his own penis.

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Knock Knock! Come in..

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What is the difference between a pillow and a rock The rock could hert you.

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How do you kill a black man There is many ways

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My two friends Larry and Paul are both race horses. They were getting ready for a big race to quolify them for the Kentucky durby. BANG! The race started! What. Close race! First it was Larry then Paul then Larry then Paul! And finally Larry came out and won it! Paul went to the winners circle and congratulated Larry. He said "hey great job Larry but next time after you come back from touring will you let me win?" Larry says "oh! Of course this couldn't get between us! We're like two peas in a pod. Closer then bread in a basket. We're best friends"... So when he came back from touring Larry said it was great! And promised let Paul win. BANG the race started! It was Paul then Larry then Paul then Larry won again. Paul was a little mad that he he didn't win but he went to congratulate larry anyway. Larry said next time he was deffinetly going to let Paul win, because he wasn't gonna let this get between them because they are two peas in a pod. Closer then bread in a basket, they are best friends. Then after Larry came back from touring he promised again he would let Paul win. BANG! The race started and it was Paul then Larry! Then Paul! Larry! Paul! Then larry won. Paul at this point furious went to the winners circle. He talked to Larry "Larry why didn't you let me win for the third time!? This is just your ego trying to win every time now!?" I didn't want them to fight so I chimed in "Larry, Paul! Please don't fight! Your two peas in a pod! Closer then bread in a basket! Your best friends!! You don't want to fight like this!" Larry turned to Paul and said "Hey look! A talking dog!"

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why did the mom beat up her son with downs because he was matt daly

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Q: Knock, Knock A: To get to the other side.

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what do you do with a drunken sailor? take him back to port because he's not in a right state of mind to be on board a moving vessel

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why did the fat guy become fat ...COD..

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An American man and a Chinese man have a conversation. The American man asks the Chinese man after a couple of minutes of speaking, "How long have you lived in the United States?" The Chinese man replies, "I moved to the United States when I was ten years old."

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A man walks into a bar. The barman says, 'why the lo-, wait, i thought you was that horse again.'

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Q: What is soft, fuzzy, and lives in the woods? A: Yeti

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Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

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Knock knock. Who's there? The Postman Will you sign hear please he said Oh my toaster came

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Knock knock. I know who is there... What? No, I lied...

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Knock Knock? Why did you just say knock knock just ring the doorbell

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What shoots rockets but is not classed as a deadly weapon? A toy rocket launcher, I lied about the rockets.

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how do you stop a bus? Well, just up the road is a stop sign so the bus will stop there because it is illegal to go through a stop sign without stopping.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Jane from next door. Hi Jane how can I help you? Just wondering if my sister could use the spare spot on your drive tomorrow afternoon around 3pm? She is coming round for tea. I'm very sorry but my wife is due back around that time. Not a problem, thanks anyway. Have a great day. Bye Jane, see you soon, sorry again.

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What happened after the man with no arms and legs lost his keys? He called the police.

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Why was Martha put in a wheelchair? She was hit by a rabid cabbage.

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What do you get when you mix a baby and a fork? An abortion.

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Q: What do you do when you see a half dead black guy on your front lawn? A: Call the ambulance because he is dying

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What was the best part of the holocaust? A: none of it, it was a terrible event in history and hopefully is never repeated

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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