I have Alzheimer's, i pee out gold, racoons

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Q: how do you stop a baby's crying keeping you up at night A: pull out it's wind pipe

thumb_up thumb_down -17

women's rights

thumb_up thumb_down -17

BIG PENIS

thumb_up thumb_down -17

your mother is so fat that she got brain damaged from cardiac arrest and now needs medical care for the rest of her life.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

I regret everything.....

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Two strawberries are sitting in a bathtub. One says to the other, "Can you pass the soap?" The other one says, "What do I look like, a typewriter?!"

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Name a country that begins with the letter U A. True B. False C. All of the above D. None of the above

thumb_up thumb_down -17

why was the little girl crying in her dads arms? Because he was strangling her

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What's worse...a thousand dead babies in one joke...or one dead baby in a thousand jokes?

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Sally walked into a bar and asked for a drink. Because she was under 21 they denied her request,

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What did the boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas? Cancer

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why did the Flintstones have Christmas? The Flintstones celebrated Christmas because the creator, William Hanna, celebrated it. As it is a kids TV show, you can't expect it to be factually correct.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Q:what's black and white and red all over? A:a panda bear that's been shot in the face.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Steve buys 60 watermelons.. What does he have? A lot of watermelons.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

why do cats hate dogs the Holocaust

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What did the little boy with no arms and legs get for his birthday? A baseball, bat, and a glove.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Koalas mum is a slut

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What did Lois say to Peter? Who cares... Family Guy is a stupid show.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

How do you confuse a blonde? Go up to her and say, "The bookbag coffeepotted the ice cream wedding! Is it gosling for you to rectify this pane of glass and oceans? I won't be able to berry a giant squid before the cows arrive."

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What do you call an African American who flies a plane? A Pilot

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What did Raymond say when josh ate him? Nothing because Raymond was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What happens when a leprechaun refuses to give you his pot of gold? He doesn't give you his gold.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

I Raped And Killed A Little Girl Called Zoe. It All Started When I Raped A Girl In Her School, I Always Waited Outside Of Her School in my white van, one day the girl I raped before Zoe confronted me in my white van, I asked her if she wanted to see my puppies in the back of the van, she said yes, I locked her in there, I kidnapped her. The next day that girl Mysteriously Died. Iwonder how? Tee hee hee... The next day Zoe came up to my van, She also said yes about the puppies too! I kidnapped her and raped her. The next day I was rushed to hospital, I was revealed by the doctor I Had Been Diagnosed With HIV, I knew it was from her because she is the only girl I'd raped, So I walked home. When I Was Walking Home, I Was Thinking About How Angry I Was With That Lil' Bitch; I Was Thinking of ways to kill her, when I got home I heard her listen to; Bang Bang~ By Ariana Grande, Nikki Minaj And Jessie J. That Got Me thinking, Ah, that's how I am going to kill her. So I opened my cage and Got my gun out; I killed her. Blood Was Dripping Down from her head, I Grabbed the corpse and put It in my basement, after that I started licking her fanny, Drinking Her pussy juice. Then I drained all of her Blood out of her body and bottled it. After all the draining I had 600,000 Bottles. I Drunk one of them. and may I just say: it was delicious! After that, I went online and sold all the bottles to I.Am.A.Vampire.Com For £1million Pounds!! Man is now mega rich and I brought a slut and fucked her. I Now lift a fucking amazing life because of a vulnerable, Dumb Ass girl called Zoe. Thank you!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops