Sorry I am like so fucking wasted still, I keep giggling and laughing all of the time.

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If you have me you want to share me, if you share me you no longer have me. What am I? (a secrect)

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Q: What did little Timmy get from his mother this Christmas? A: The contents of her will.

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Why do I write Anit-jokes. Because I'm very bad at delevering good punchlines. They generally fall flat.

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What's funny? A joke. What's funnier than a joke? Two jokes.

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what happens when you throw a rock in the water? it gets wet

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why were the girls confused? they were in a logic class and couldn't seem to find the irrationality chapter in the book

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What did the monkey say after its tail was run over by a lawnmower? It won't be long now.

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How do you get Doctor Phil in a bikini? Give him a little alcohol to ease inhibitions and offer him a suitable bribe.

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USA, one of the richest and most proud nations on this plan- VIETNAM 9/11 BYE FOR NOW!!!

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Why did the boy have pink skin at night? Because he did not put on a sufficient amount of sunscreen that morning.

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What's in a bag of dead babies? Dead babies and one alive baby eating it's way out.

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How do you get Helen Keller to keep a secret? You politely ask her not to tell anyone.

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i just got pulled over by a cop. he asked me if i had been drinking, i said no. he asked me to step out of my car so he could look inside i looked nervous, and had no other choice to step out. he knew there was something in there he looked in and saw it THE REFRIDGERATOR

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What did the redneck say about his missing tractor? Where's my tators.

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How do you sneak Jews across the border? In an ashtray.

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What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

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roses are red violets are blue everyone is stupid how about you? -I'm not Im black

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What do you call a Mexican with a lawnmower? The guy I'm thinking of is named Pedro. He works hard and takes care of his family.

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Why is an elephant gray Because it's GRAY!!! duh

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why couldnt justin beiber get into the club? because hes not legal

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Why did the little kid use pillows at night? Because he was constipated.

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What does samios search on google? Shemale gey big t.it lactating big c.ock An.al tearing Ana.l dilation school girl rape compilation

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If the Trojan Horse was a deadly deception, is it My Lethal Phony?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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