Knock knock. The door was not answered because, rather than rapping upon the door with his knuckles twice consecutively, Joseph simply said the onomatopoeia verbs vocally. He intended to wish his neighbor and dear friend of twenty years the best of luck with his current situation, as his neighbor had been recently divorced from a marriage of forty-eight years. Joseph then walked home, because intruding upon his friend's privacy would have befuddled him even further.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Why was the man sad? Cause his dog fell off a cliff

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Why did the Smartie get fired from the M&M factory? For throwimg out all the W&Ws

thumb_up thumb_down -30

- What do you call a black man who drives a bus? - An african american bus driver.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

why did the chicken cross the road? I don't care! What are you doing in my house?

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Why did the Dead baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

melons are berries, tomatoes are fruit, being a smart-ass isn't that good.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

why was the tolit stoped up. because it had phoo

thumb_up thumb_down -32

A woman was struck and killed by a truck as she crossed the road. Who's fault is it? The woman's, if she hadn't left the kitchen, she would still be making me sandwitches...

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Why did the black guy fell from the stairs? Because I threw him

thumb_up thumb_down -32

wh@t d0 y0u c@II @ d0g5sh£t w1th n0 sm£II? 0ID d0gsh£T

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Q: Knock, Knock A: To get to the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

What looks like a flower, smells like a flower, and feels like a flower, but isn't a flower? Just kidding it's a flower

thumb_up thumb_down -32

how many mexicas does it take to.... on wait there done

thumb_up thumb_down -34

My uncle was involved in 9/11... He called me before the plane crashed into the twin towers, his final words were so comforting... "ALLAH AKBAR!!!"

thumb_up thumb_down -34

whats worse then being a jew now? being a jew in 1942

thumb_up thumb_down -34

A woman was strolling around town when she turned into a dark alley. She was cold and scared. Suddenly a ferocious looking man jumped out with a knife. The end.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

How did sarah break her arm? She was in a tragic car accident. An ambulance arrived and quickly rushed her to the hospital where she was cared for by medical professionals.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Why are soccer players sad? They couldn't play Football.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Win industrial estate, Newry

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Why was the 18 year old white male late for his college class. On his way to college he got in a car accident and killed 5 people and he walked away unharmed

thumb_up thumb_down -36

Why are plants green? Plants are green due to the chloroplast organelles found in their cells. These membrane bound organelles are exclusive to plant cells and are used to convert sun light to usable chemical energy. This energy is stored in the form of ATP molecules, or adenosine triphosphate. When one of the three phosphate groups of an ATP molecule is removed, the molecule releases the energy put into this bond and becomes ADP, or adenosine diphosphate. Throughout this process, the organelle fulfills its sole function and at the same time gives plants their green color our eyes perceive today.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

Aaron Pfeifer likes men

thumb_up thumb_down -36

How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? 9,405 licks (this may not be reliable I lost count since I kinda just bit it)

thumb_up thumb_down -36

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops