What do Michael Jackson and Donkey Kong have in common? They're both famous.

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What do you call a guy with no arms, no legs, and floats? Nothing, its rude to make fun of disabilities.

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How many chickens does it take for a cow to count on Tuesday? The same reason a horse got fired for seven plus one blue red green.

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A man is walking down the beach and he spots an antique looking lamp in the sand, he picks it up and rubs it. Nothing happens and the man begins to cry realizing that his life is so dismal and pathetic he was ready to believe he had found a magic lamp. He proceeds to run into the water and bash himself senseless with a large rock until he passes out and drowns.

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I haven't had sex for about 2 years, 10 months, 20 days and 4 minutes. It doesn't bother me though.

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What's worse than an anti-joke about an anti-joke? The Holocaust

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Stephen Hawkins walks into a bar...

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Yo mamma's so fat, we are all seriously concerned for her health.

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A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The family performs an array of disgusting sexual acts. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "It has no name."

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Me Chinese Me no joke Me die of cancer.

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Why did the little boy die? He had cancer.

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What's a black mans favorite thing to do Depends on that particular mans likes and interests

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Oh yeah... You're mute.

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What's worse than waking up with cancer? Waking up dead.

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A duck walks into a bar.... Duck: Can I have a glass of water? Bartender: How would you like to pay for it? Duck: Put it on my bill

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Why was the black man good at basketball? Because he practiced.

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Q: What's worse than stepping a LEGO in the middle of the night? A: A landmine

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"Solids tunderf" he said, while chewing his gum.

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What do you call two blacks on a bike? Two good friends having a good time.

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hard cheese

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whats worse than 4 dead monkeys? 5 dead monkeys.

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When is it okay for priests to touch underage boys? Ash Wednesday, they have place ash using their hands on the boys foreheads.

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Why did the hot blonde strip down? So she can take a shower

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Why was the girl crying? DEEZ NUTS!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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