What looks like half an Apple? The other half.

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What sound does a snail make? Meow....... Think hard and you'll get it

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You know what sucks? A vacuum.

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A black man and his mexican friend walk into a bar. The black man orders a drink and the mexican gets soda. He is the designated driver

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What doesn't kill you makes you stronger. Accept for cancer.

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A: Who keeps knocking on the wall? B: My neighbors have sex a lot. A: We should knock back.

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A Polar Bear walks into a bar and says to the barman: "Barman! Give me a whiskey and ............................................................coke." The barman says: "Why the big pause?" to which the Polar bear replies: "Well uhm my father had big paws"

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69 :)

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What is the funniest joke in the world? Written.

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Abbie shaved her arse today....then it smiled at me

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whats worse than finding a worm in your apple getting blow jobed by a giant squirrel

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Why did the black man rob the store? Because he was hard on money for a reason not associated with race or stereotypes whatsoever.

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What's worse than the Holocaust? Finding half a worm in your apple.

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how makes licks does it take to get to the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop? depends on how determined you are to find out

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A horse walks into a bar, the bartender asks him, "Would you like a drink?". The horse cannot understand english and is confused by its surroundings. The horse gallops out of the bar knocking over a few stools

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Knock-knock jokes with sjws: Knock knock! Who's there? A transgender! A transgender who? WOW. It's 2016, people. If you can't recognize a transgender, you're a disgusting piece of cis white male scum! OH! OHH! "I'm sorry lady"? Do I LOOK like a lady to you? I'm a- no- sir- stop interrupting me. SIR! I identify as a gender fluid demisexual! "What does that matter?" Oh my god. Well it wouldn't matter if I identified as a goddamn piece of salami to you would it??? Huh? I'm confusing you? WOW! What a priveleged- oh! So I'M being rude? OKAY! FINE! I'm recording this you know. You're going ALL over the Internet. Oh yes you are! No, hey, my privilege cam! You just took it this is rape! You are assaulting me! Don't just shove it back into my hands like that! I call patriarchy! Oh no, I'm not done with you! Don't you close that door you Goddamn piece of sh- *slam*

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What did the fish say to the octopus? nothing... fish cant talk.

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Why did Dom stop smoking? Because he died

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Q: How did Mary get frostbite A: Her mother locked her in a freezer

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Why didn't Superman save the people from 9/11? Because he was a quadriplegic.

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What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.

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What do you call it when you mix a raccoon with an 18-wheeler? A bloody mess on the highway. That smells like cheese

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why did the woman call the police? because there was a murderer pointing a gun at her at her son.

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roses are red, violets are blue... thats what they tell me because im blind

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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