Anti pick up line: Boy: If I could re arrange the letters I would put U and I together. Girl: Oh really because if I could rearrange the letters I would put F and U together By Adam Chebali

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If I was trapped in a closet with you and a bear, and I only had two bullets, I would shoot you twice!

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Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

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What's black, brown and red? My dog as a serial killer

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What's sad about a mexican man dying in a car crash? He had a family that loved and cared for him.

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Q: What did little Timmy get from his mother this Christmas? A: The contents of her will.

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What's brown and sticky? A stick!

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Bigfoot, Santa, a dumb blonde, and a smart blonde all jump off of a cliff. They all reach terminal velocity and at impact at the same time. However, no one really cares.

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Why was the black man in school detention? For sleeping in and showing up late accidently

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<=3 penis

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Why is Kony so mean? He used to date your mom.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He wanted better pay.

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Rock a by baby, In a tree top When the wind blows The cradle will rock, When the bough breaks The cradle will fall And down will come baby Dying on impact.

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whats worse than the holocaust? nothing

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What's better than winning the lottery? Winnig the lottery twice.

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do you wanna hear a joke school

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What did the elderly lady say to the man? You still have not repaid my services

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roses are red violets are blue my dick is long longer then you

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Your mommas so fat she jumped into the ocean and immediately had to start swimming.

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So you go home and get on the computer. You have no internet so your stuck playing pinball.

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What are 3 skills black people have that they use for basketball? Great hand eye co-ordination, communication and encouragement.

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1 black man on the moon = problem 10 black people on the moon = problems Whole black population on the moon = problem solved

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*Brother comes downstairs wet and naked* Mom: Did you enjoy your shower?

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FORTY SECONDS!!!!!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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