I popped my head over my sexy neighbour's fence today to see her lying in her bikini. "Wow, you're gorgeous!" I burst out, "I hope you know how to do CPR." "Why?" she asked with a giggle, "Because I've taken your breath away?" "No," I replied. "I've just run your son over out front."

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Why couldn't the little girl color in her coloring book? Her arms were amputated.

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Why was the little boy inside the house instead of playing with his friends outside? His dad just died from cancer.

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What happened when the Mexican put the Popsicles in the fridge? They melted

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why are black people good at sports? because i f***ed your mom

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Why does a chicken lay an egg? If she'd throw it it would break.

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why didnt the kid get anything for christmas? santa exploded

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Why did the boy want to sleep in the same bed as his parents? His bedroom was on fire.

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Roses are red,violets are blue you want me but i dont want you!

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was John Elway.

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In soviet russia...the abundance of natural oils and rich agricultural land provide it with a thriving economy

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A black man is like a sledge hammer; if you compare him to a sledge hammer, he will hit you with a sledge hammer.

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That awkward momment when there is no Candy in the Van... <3

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Why is Osama Bin Laden scared of the dark? To be honest, I don't know, and I doubt you do either. Osama Bin Laden has been a fugitive on America's Top Ten Most Wanted list for over 10 years; there is no way that you could possibly know such personal information about him if the United States government can't even locate him and prosecute him for the heinous crimes he committed against the U.S. Don't ever lie to me again.

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A man walked into this bar, and said ouch.

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Your mom is so stupid she has trouble holding a steady job and struggles to support her family.

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a man walked in to a bar and said 'outch'

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It was at the war and there was a camp site where a doctors helped injured soldiers. One soldier comes in the door and holds his arm. The doctor says "You got shot in the arm?" He says yes. Then another soldier walks in the door and holding his shoulder. The doctor says "You got shot in the shoulder?" He says yes. Then another soldier walks in the door and was dragging his left leg across the floor. The doctor says "You got shot in your leg?" The soldier says "No, I stepped on dog shhhttt."

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What did the mute man say to the president? Nothing, he is mute

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cats, swimming, northpole ,sky, park , tree , bench, anti joke. shut up you have a skin disease!

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What do you call a Mexican that doesn't have a lawn mower? An honest working induvidual that just so happens to live in the city and does not own a lawn mower

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Like a bit of a cozy fight or something.

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Sorry babe, even if I was I would not tell you, the entire place is surrounded, but within enough of a distance, so we will plant a nice setup around the green shack so everyone assumes his deal was some solo operation, if someone else is heading at his direction now, you are gonna get busted, so you better stay down.

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A man walks into a bar,gets a drink, and then leaves.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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