Your momma's so obnoxious, your dad left.

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a blonde walks into a drycleaning store to get her clothes and on her way out the empoyee behind her says come again and then the blonde says shut up u nosy bitch its just toothpaste this time!!!

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how long does it take a meth-head to rob your flat? not long at all, and they'll take everything. they need to, it's an addiction

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Whats worse than getting shot in the foot? Watching each member of your family get shot in the foot.

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When black people wore their pants low, white people called it "Saggin" little did they know that "saggin" spelled backwards is "white supremacy" those sneaky white people

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What is red and can fly? An elephant. I lied about being red. And I also lied about the flying part.

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Okay.

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How do you wake up Lady GaGa? Poke her Face.

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How do you get a clown to shut up? Hit him in the face with an axe

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What do you call a bathtub full of dead babies? A tragedy.

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a Dyslexic, Agnostic, Insomniac stayed up all night, wondering if there really was a dog.

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a person who will soon die of beeties

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Q: Whats different about pizza and jewish people? A: Pizzas don't scream in the oven.

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I saw my friend stabbing a girl. i asked what is he doing "Oh im just killing time" turns out the girls name is Time Demson. What a weird name i thought to myself.

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Why did the chicken help people across the road all day? Because after past experiences the chicken decided to become a lollypop chicken and help people not make the mistakes he did

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Oh no my baby is dead. Ha.

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Why can't Jesus eat M&Ms? Because they weren't invented when he was alive.

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oh hai i'm al gore reduce ur carbon footprint lolz

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This is sparta No this is patrick

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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Why did the dead baby cross the road? Cause it was stapled to the chicken.

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What's the difference between ten dead babies and a Ferrari. A Ferrari isn't in my garage.

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Why didn't the skeleton go to the dance? He had nobody to go with :)

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Sex is not the answer. Sex is the question. "Yes" is the answer.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops