Whats red and dirty? Her period

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Q: What did the boy with no arms or lags get for christmas? A: He dosent now he cant open them.

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Why couldn't the black kid buy a bike? He had no money.

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Q: Why did Grandma fall down the stairs? A: Because she had a brain hammerage

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Three guys walk in to a bar. One got a concussion.

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A brown park bench was bought. After multiple years the color had faded, and the bench was no longer the same shade of brown.

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A Tatooine moisture farmer, an old man, an astromech droid, and a protocol droid walk into a cantina at Mos Eisley Space Port. The bartender says, "We don't serve their kind here! They'll have to wait outside. We don't want them here." The moisture farmer then says to his droids, "Listen, why don't you wait out by the speeder. We don't want any trouble."

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How do you treat people that cannot say no in just two seconds? (redux and spellchecked) Treatment: Hi...: *locks door* NOW SAY NO TO ME! SAY IT MUAHAHAHA! People: NO PLEASE I CANT! NOOOOOO! *door unlocks* Problem solved, NEXT!

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dude... what would you do if i punched you in the face? i would pee on you

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What do you call two black guys holding up a store? Really strong.

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what happened to the atheist when he died? he went to HELL

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What do you call a blue and black dot on the wall? A fly wearing blue jeans.

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Q: What is Tarzan's favorite Christmas Carol? A: None. He was raised by gorillas, who are unlikely to have ever heard of Christmas.

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A black man walks into a... nevermind, this joke is dumb.

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Why did the student shoot his teacher? Because he was super depressed and was just diagnosed with stage four brain cancer. And he was black.

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Error 37.

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whats my name? Matt

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what to call someone thats gay zak

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A Polar Bear walks into a bar and says to the barman: "Barman! Give me a whiskey and ............................................................coke." The barman says: "Why the big pause?" to which the Polar bear replies: "Well uhm my father had big paws"

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Why couldn't the blind man drive? His sight impairment made him unable to fulfill the task without harming himself and potentially other people.

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A pilot walks into a bar just before his last flight of the day. "Give me a stiff one to get through this last flight, I've had a long day," the pilot tells the bartender. The bartender promptly refuses the pilot service and kicks him out of the bar, since operating an aircraft under the influences of alcohol would at least constitute gross negligence and at worst, murder.

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what do fish smoke? sea weed

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What is worst than your girlfriend's mother?? Osama Bin Laden's One

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While walking along the beach, a man stubs his toe on a half buried lamp. He picks it up, dusts it off, and a enormous Genie appears in front of him. "You have released me from my 10,000 year imprisonment. I will grant you 3 wishes to repay you." says the Genie. The man quickly uses his 1st wish for wealth and the 2nd for the love of a beautiful woman. Unable to think of a 3rd wish and seeing the sunken look on the Genie's face, he wished for the Genie's freedom. The Genie uses his unrestrained powers to kill the man, resurrect Hitler and enslave the human race.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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