Knock Knock Who's there? Eric, your old high school pal! Eric, you slept with my wife 3 years ago. You have her, please stop coming to my door and please stop saying your my pal. Pals don't sleep with other guys' wives.

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Why did the boy fall asleep in class? He was tired.

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Q. What did the fat man say when he ate a salad? A. Yum.

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What's worse than Gordon Brown's face? George Bush.

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Why didn't the Mexican dwarf eat his taco? Well, he actually started, but he had already had one earlier. So, he gave half to his friend who gladly accepted the free taco.

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A black guy walks into a kkk meeting.

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everyone lies especially if they said agree to terms of service

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Why do girls think they deserve the very best? Because if an ugly girl in twilight can find a hunky vampire and ripped werewolf why can't they. And let's not forget those crappy Disney princess movies.

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Daddy look! Roses! No son, those are rhododendrons... Daddy how do you spell rhododendrons? Uh... never mind son those are roses. So... Daddy how do you spell roses? Son, never mind that is a dog. So daddy how do you spell... SHUT UP! Moral: I put a spell on you.

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how many jews can you fit in a volkswagon? 2 in the front, 2 in the back, and 6 million in the ash trey.

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If you're American when you go into the bathroom and you're American when you come out of the bathroom, what are you when you're in the bathroom? Magic.

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What's more annoying than reading a joke you can't understand? ?????

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What do you call a 9 year old with no friends? A Sandyhook survivor.

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Your momma's so fat that she can't pass through some turnstiles and needs go through some other way with people staring and feel sad about it.

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Why can't Stevie Wonder read? Because he's blind.

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A Penn State administrator walks in to a butt.

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so there was a frog a bear and a walrus... i forgot how the rest goes but they all die because of a nuclear holocaust

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Yo mama is so fat, she's bigger than a whale. I have two fathers.

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What do you do when a taco eater gives you guacamole? Thank him, and politely smash it in the face of the nearest trashy tourist.

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a robber walks into a bank. he steals everything and kills the guards

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Hey i heard you where cool wait that was opposite day ;)

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nena. nerna. neener. neezie. nena.

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How do you make an orphan's hands bleed? Tell them to clap until there parents come home.

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one morning i turned on my tv

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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