Roses are stools, Violets are bums, sugar is knit, thank you, LSD.

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what did the green grape say to the purple grape? i'm green.

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bunnies are fluffy just like yo mama

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A man removed Stephen Hawkings hand off his keyboard, what did Stephen say to the man? Nothing his hand isnt on the keyboard.

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why did the monkey buy a shoe? to put em on!!!!

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How does Fred drink his milk? -computer

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gabbi nunez ;)

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A skeleton walks into a bar. He orders a beer and a mop.

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What kind of fire alarm does a zebra not like? One that doesn't work

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Pikachu walked into a bar. "GO, SQUIRTLE!" the bartender screamed. An epic Pokémon battle ensued, after they got drunk. The end. Pika pi!

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Dear Six, Please stop spreading rumors about me and nine. I hear you two also do some pretty nasty things. Love, Seven.

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yo mama so fat she died from a heart attack

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Slowly being tortured to death.

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A antijoke? The "new and better" Duke Nukem. "Power armor is for poossies! My ego is going to... ARGH! Both my arms are blown away... well Duke Nukem is too awesome! He uses his legs..ARGH MY LEGS! Well Duke Nukem is dead... but his ego will keep the remains of his corpse fighting aliens! Yeah ego!" Nukem: I got balls of fail...

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Q: You know what's really funny? A: A good joke.

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What do you get when you mix a black person with an octopus? i dont know. but it sure picks cotton well.

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The grandfather's grandson said, "They charged me $10 just for a cup of coffee!" The grandfather said, "They charged me with bayonets."

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What's the difference between my father and my mother. My father isn't an alcoholic

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What is the difference between a dolphin and a ghost? A dolphin is not a ghost

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How do you poop without it splashing? clench clench, release, clench clench, release, clench, release, clench, release.

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Why did the women leave the kitchen? She didn't, women belong in the kitchen.

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you are looking on the internet someone falls over and i were shoes and chips prevent world war 2

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Why does Rupert the Bear wear chequered trousers? Because that's how the creator originally drew him.

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Q: What's worse than seeing a scorpion A: being stung by that scorpion

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops