What is big, eats cats, smells good, but looks like shit? A big, cat eating, good smelling piece of shit

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I lost The Game, You just did too.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

suzy took a bath with bubbles what?......... I'm sure bubbles is a nice guy

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Why was the middle-aged doctor morbidly obese? He liked bacon and was severely hypocritical.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

you know what they say, Big man, Big hypertrophic cardiomyopathy, shame he died

thumb_up thumb_down -22

do you have a pen i can borrow? yeah, here.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

How do you milk a cow? Pull on its' utters.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Invention I totally meant invention! XD, now okay, you can have the top comment, ill even read it because I like ya a lot.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Why did the girl fall down the stairs? She has no legs, that's why.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Girlfriend has 10 letters, but then again, so does freeeeedom

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Steven Hawkin ran a marathon.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What is the saddest thing in a porno? He doesn't really love her.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Why did the clown drink all the sweet wine? Because he was an alcoholic.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

roses are red violets are blue no seriously they are

thumb_up thumb_down -24

How do you get Doctor Phil in a bikini? Give him a little alcohol to ease inhibitions and offer him a suitable bribe.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

An old man walks into a bar. It was, a metal cylinder, not unlike a short carbon rod, and not the drinking establishment he normally frequents, named O'Malley's Pub and Eatery, which was, in fact, next to the the building with the protruding metal bar. He suffered greater injury than a younger man due to his advanced age and deteriorating health. But he did eventually recover by strictly adhering to his doctor's advice of bed rest, improved diet, and increased, yet moderate, aerobic exercise.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Straight man: Gays can't have babies so they shouldn't be allowed to have sex. Gay man: But you got a vasectomy last year, so you can't make babies either. The straight man sees the irony, realizes how judgmental he has been and never has sex again because he maintains his opinion that gays shouldn't have sex.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

When an intellectual was told by someone, "Your beard is now coming in," he went to the rear entrance and waited for it. Another intellectual asked what he was doing. Once he heard the whole story, he said: "I'm not surprised that people say we lack common sense. How do you know that it's not coming in by the other gate?"

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Two Cows are knitting soda water in a lightbulb. One of them said: Talking about milk, what time is it? The other pulls out a thermometer, looked at it and said: Wednesday.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

if any1 wants contact with me, nina, call me on my cell at 879-555-0934 im looking for a short, chubby man with a hungering taste of mexican taste

thumb_up thumb_down -24

How many Jews does it take to screw in a lightbulb? -None, they will pay for somebody else to do it

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Why shouldn't you hit a black guy on a bike? Because you would get charged with vehicular manslaughter and have the NAACP all up in your ass.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

How much dub could a dubstep dub if a dubstep could step dub?

thumb_up thumb_down -24

A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops