Why did sally fall out of the tree? Because sally was morbidly obese and uprooted the tree from underneath her subsequently causing her to splash violently on the ground. Why didn't sally get back up? Because the splash caused the earth to spin at 40000 rpm into the sun.

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These are some questions you should never ask on a first date: When you wipe do you throw your toilet tissue in the toilet or on a trash can? Do you smell your hands after you wipe? Do you you ever look down when you take a dump and see it come out? Have you ever picked your butt and then picked your nose with the same finger?

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Tulips are red, Dandelions are red, I lit your garden on fire.

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I went out for a nice evening with my wife last week, and we kept getting dirty looks because I'm 42 and she's 19. I get that people are a little weird about that for whatever stupid reason, but it totally ruined our tenth anniversary.

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A guy walks into a bar. He loses conciseness because of the force of the metal bar hitting his skull.

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What did the deaf man say to the blind man? Probably "Look out for that car," but since he has been deaf since the age of 7, his verbal skills are tenuous at best.

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what's worse than finding a worm in your apple. finding an apple in your pet worm.

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A chicken walked into the bar...

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Listen Nero, you consider us like friends too right?

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What do you call a bunch black people falling off a cliff? A mudslide! What do you call a bunch of white people falling off a cliff? An avalanch!

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Why was Billy unhappy? He was molested by a black guy.

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look at the top of your screen. now look down. I MADE YOU DO THAT

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What happens when you leave Toby alone in your house? He eats your carpet, some pillows, ur dog, ned, neds dog and a glass panel. This is why 2 +h = plugger +Mount Everest (I is potato annoying). Bonjour.

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youre in a room with justin bieber and a gun with 5 bullets..........

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i am writing this because i felt like it.

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who lives in a pinaple under the sea? japanesse people!

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Roses Are Red Violets Are Blue I Have ADD ...

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What did one gothic person say to another gothic person? Nothing. Gothic people only cut themselves.

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Why do all black people look the same? They don't, you're either just racist or unobservant.

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roses are red violets are blue that's just the way god made them

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Your Momma is so fat when she pressed "up" on the elevator it went crashing down.

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A black guy and a white guy jump out of a tree, who hits the ground first? They both hit at the same time while sustaining minor injuries.

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Every time I walk across the street I do the Hitler march and raise my arm straight out to salute him, if I feel like holding up traffic, I take smaller steps

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People Eating Tasty Animals

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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