Q: Whats black and white and red all over? A: I am unsure for I am color blind.

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Rick Santorum 2012

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what do you call a man with no arms or legs jetskiiing? I don't know but it seems a highly improbably situation.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Jahova's witnesses.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? She is a woman

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What is worse than waking up by your alarm clock on the weekend? 9/11

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hating his life and his job, the man leaves work early and while he is in the elavator he has thoughts about killing himself after returning to his apartment he turns on the TV and grabs his gun out of the drawer. sitting in a chair with a gun to his head he looks at the TV and realizes that his office building has just been hit by a 747 piloted by Al-Quida members. Suddenly the man realizes that maybe he has something to live for and decides not to kill himself.

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What did the pilot say to the female flight attendant? He told her to never tell his wife about the time they spent in mexico or he'd bludgeon her to death with a hammer.

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Why can't Abraham Lincoln tell a lie? Because he's dead.

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There was a dog and a cat. What happens next? The cat's not there anymore. Neither is the dog. Can you guess what happend? The dog ate the cat, but the cat was his friend, so the dog committed suicide.

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We are lawyers

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There was 3 floors in a building. The man outside was watering plants. The man on the first floor was doing laundry. The man on the second floor was peeing out the window because the toilet wasn't working. The man on the third floor was cutting vegetables and accidentally dropped his knife out the window. Now, the four men all went out to tell what they did that day. The man on the third floor said that he was cutting veggies and dropped his knife out the window. The man on the second floor said that he got his wiener cut off. The man on the first floor said that he was just doing laundry. Then, the man outside said that he was watering plants and found a delicious sausage on the ground and he ate it.

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roses are red violets are blue I can't rhyme refrigerator

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Knock knock Who's there? Hello??? .....

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* How many roads must a man walk down before you call him a man? * He just need to go to the Register Office and change his name to "a man"

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What can u see in the dark that u can't see in the light? Absolutely nothing

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Wishing to teach his donkey not to eat, a pedant did not offer him any food. When the donkey died of hunger, he said: ‘I’ve had a great loss. Just when he had learned not to eat, he died.

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What did the kind hearted wolf do when he saw the small, helpless, fluffy bunny? He ate it.

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Q. you know who is so sad A. you for looking up a site for jokes that aren't even good

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"I never want to see you again!" shouted Stevie Wonder to the genie in the bottle, as a young boy.

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did you hear about the guy who got his left leg and left arm cut off? he suffered severe blood loss and is most likely dead.

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Knock-knock. Who's there? Doorbell repairman. ym

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so you're waling through the desert and a tire falls off your canoe. How many pancakes does it take to shingle a doghouse?

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Why did the blond check your phone? AIDS

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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