How did the chicken know where he was going? He had a map.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

what did the african say after he got beat by the cops? wow i really shouldn't have sliced that mans head off.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

"I am proud to be black and I wouldn't want to be any other race." - Not racist. "I am proud to be white and I wouldn't want to be any other race." - Racist and offensive to black people "I am proud to be asian and I wouldn't want to be any other race." - Not racist "I am proud to be Ethiopian and I wouldn't want to be any other race." - Said nobody, ever

thumb_up thumb_down +21

There was once a man named Larry. Larry was an office worker for a paper company. One day when Larry was counting papers he got a papercut on his left hand. Therefore his finger began to bleed as he sat in agony. What did Larry do next? He got up and got a band-aid. Larry continued his paper work at his desk.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Is this the krusty Crab? No you idiot this is a phone!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +21

A-S-S-H-O-L-E!!!! Everybody A-S-S-H-O-L-E!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +21

There was an old lady from Ealing Who had a peculiar feeling She lay on her back Opened her crack And pissed all over the ceiling The old lady then lay in her own waste for over two weeks due to neglect by uncaring nursing home staff. Six months later, a hidden camera documentary on underperforming care homes exposed the abuse and neglect and the old lady went to live with her son and his family. In the early hours of May 14th 2011, the whole family were killed in a house fire that gutted the home and saw fires spread to neighbouring houses. Firefighters say the blaze originated in the spare room and was caused by exposed wiring on an electrical blanket. Forensic experts said that the repeated urination on the blanket would likely corrode the wiring due to the acidic content of urine.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

A woman leaves the kitchen.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why is it funny when dogs talk ? Answer: they don't

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What do you call a straight A student that takes 6 Vicodin's, 5 Percocet's, and 7 Adderalls? I don't know, but he will most likely die of drug overdose.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What does a hooker eat for breakfast, lunch, and dinner? Food.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

69

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why is Helen Keller a bad driver? Because she is blind.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why did the man have square fingers? Because he has Apert Syndrome

thumb_up thumb_down +21

How many flies does it take to screw in a light bulb? Two, but the real question is why there are two flies having sex inside a light bulb.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Roses are red Violets are actually the color violet, contrary to popular belief.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

My period is red, Your sauce is white, now pull down your pants and let me do my workout.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

whats 1 + 1? 2

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why did Mary fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock, knock? Who's there? Not Mary.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

A horse walks into a bar. The barman asks "Why the long face?" The horse takes offense and replies "I was born like this."

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why are rich guys gay? Because they can afford to be

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Whats black,White and Asian? everything we are all equal

thumb_up thumb_down +19

You know what assuming leads to... .....Assumptions.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Knock Knock. Who's there? Frances. Frances who? Frances Payne.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops