An elderly man walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Hey Dad!" The old man replies, "Hi son. I'll have a Bud Light." The bartender serves his dad a Bud Light and says, "I'm thinking about going back to school to become a doctor." The old man says, "I'm an alcoholic." The bartender replies, "Great, another Bud Light coming up!"

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What do you call an Arab flying a plane? A pilot.

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Why did jimmy cross the road? Because that was the direction the cannon was pointing.

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Why do women fake orgasms? Because they want to give men the impression that they have climaxed.

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yo mamma is so stupid she failed high school

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Why are white people white? Cuz they were Born This Way Why are black people black? Cuz they were Born This Way Why are Mexicans so tan? Cuz they were in the sun too long at birth

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Knock Knock Whos there? Your neighbor.

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A father and son get into a car crash. They go to the hospital and both the father and son are unconsciuos. The doctor comes in to the son's room and says, "I can't operate on this boy, he is my son. How could this happen if the dad is knocked out? It was a gay couple.

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What happened to the famous musician when he overdosed? He overdosed.

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What do you call a black kid on a bike? Dirt bike

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In Soviet Russia it's pretty cold.

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What is a 6.9? A period getting in the way of a good time!

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding half of a worm. What's worse than finding half a worm in your apple? The holocaust.

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How long does it take to acheive a superbowl win? However long it takes you.

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Three men walk into a bar. The first guy bought two drinks, the second guy bought three drinks, can you guess what the third guy bought? A tazer.,

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What do you call a girl who disappears on the 3 May 2007? Madeleine McCann

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A: knock knock B: the door is open, why don't you come right in?

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Why didn't the man jump out of his window when his house was on fire? Because he is afraid of heights.

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How do you stop a baby from making bad grades? You throw a javelin at its head.

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Q: What is sad about 4 people in a Cadillac driving over a cliff? A: You could have fit more.

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Two friends were running late for their school gathering. As they arrived the train station, one friend said 'Quick, we need to catch the train!' The other replied, 'Can't we just get in it?'

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How old is Batman? Old enough to be a bat.

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An invisible man sleeping in your bed! Who ya gunna call? Most likely the local police department to report the strange incident possibly brought on by lack of sleep. NOT Bill Murray.

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Why do dogs bark? Idk why? Cause there dogs

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops