Roses are red violets are blue, I have no pickup line, just Get your tits out

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roses are red violets are blue, every 1 looks at you and call u a fool

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A guy walks into a bar and says ouch.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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Please don't tell anybody about me, or I will be hunted down, taken from my family, and be objected to a life of cruel exploitation.

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wh@t d0 y0u c@II @ d0g5sh£t w1th n0 sm£II? 0ID d0gsh£T

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LOLLLLLL! Lakers? making me laugh so hard! LMAO

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two muffins are sitting in an oven one muffin turns and says "boy it`s hot in here" the other muffin can`t bring himself to explain to the other they are about to be eaten alive.

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Knock Knock? Whos there? The police, please open the door.

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A man walks into a bar, and says to the bartender, "Do you know where the library is located?" The bartender describes to him that the closest library is three blocks down, next to the red brick building with a green roof.

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Q: what's blue and kills you when it falls from the sky? A: a whale no shit

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Q:What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? A: Where's my tractor?

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Once upon a time, there was a man. He was black. The end.

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a blonde girl walks into a bar...of soarp, slips, falls, and breaks her spine.

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This stuff on espn about Jason Collins is very gay

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How long does it take a blonde to skrew in a light bulb? Any amount of time; given that she knows that said bulb is in need of replace meant, or that said blonde is disabled, or if you thought I would make some kind of funny blonde joke that you would tell your friend and then forget ten minutes later, only to think of it a day later and claim it as your own.

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What's similar between a boat and a plane? Both can fly except for the boat

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What do you call an awesome school? St Heinrich's Law School (Teaching you to break the laws!)

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A man walks into a bar. The ceiling was ringed with dozens of TV’s, much like your average sports bar. Unlike your average sports bar however, the TV’s were not featuring athletic competition. That is unless you consider vigorous and explicit gay sex between men hung like Tijuana mules to be a sport.

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Friend: What do you call a farting dog? Me: A canine releasing built up pressure as a result of excess carbon-based gases produced by the synthesizing and decompositional digestive reactions in the stomach and intestines. Friend: ... Who is a nerd, pointless, has no social life, and cant take a joke? Me: No one. No one but you is that exceptionally lacking in character.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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what do you call 69 babies in one room? a room full of babies

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Two swallows migrate to Africa. One swallows initiates the conversation, that's when the other catch fire.

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Robin, Get in the Car

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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