What happened to the man who had the most loving parents and family when he was born, had an amazing childhood which he shared with so many good friends, was loved everywhere, helped the poor, started a fundraiser for starving kids in africa, got a college education, helped a complete stranger get off his drug addiction, married a beautiful woman, bought a nice house and had 3 children who he loved dearly and spent time with as much as he possibly could, tucked them in every night and enjoyed every second of his life as if it was his last? He died.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What doesn't kill you and doesn't make you stronger? Aids

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why was the black man running? he was participating in race for the cure, a charity event where all proceeds go to breast cancer awareness.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What did the grape say when it got stepped on? Nothing, it's a grape and therefore unable to speak.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What do you do if there's a rabid elephant chasing behind you, a vicious jaguar to your right, a rearing horse to your left, and a bloodthirsty lion in front of you? Innoculate yourself with a rabies vaccine, prod the jaguar on the nose with a stick (they hate that and will probably flee as a result), speak softly and calmly to the horse and encourage the lion to go for the elephant instead of you. You will probably still die as a combined result of mauling and trampling, and it's unlikely that you'll have two rabies vaccines to hand by chance for such situations, but your chances of survival will be minimally improved.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Roses are red my underwear is brown I just sharted my pants

thumb_up thumb_down -2

titanic vs 9/11 who would win? Well the titanic backwards is a ship which saves lives and 9/11 backwards is a building on fire spitting out airplanes

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Asshole huh? Dont give me any ideas. Again you are not high on weed are you? Then that's really bad.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why do we bother living when someday we will die? To reproduce and watch TV.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why didn't the hispanic muslim woman vote for Donald Trump in the 2016 primaries? Because she lives in Connecticut where the primaries have not yet taken place.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Far from, yet all organizations are money based and put capitalism in front of all, so if lets say, one organization, needs help from another, a money transaction is made, I play a role there, as a well... Diplomat, its not my title, but my title is something I cannot reveal to anyone, not even my wife, id be putting myself and people in danger, but since I master things such as hypnosis, I can well, influence people, this is how I can pull of favors myself. Not favors such as "kill that guy for me", but more like... In your case. "If you are going to kill the wizard, please let the rest be, I know they are good people"

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What do you do to vegetables to make them taste good? Nothing. They are still people, and they can't speak up for themselves.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What did the man say to his friend? Hello.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Mitt Romney

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why did the midget fall from a tall building? Because somebody pushed him.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

how are a ferrari and a pile of dead babies similar? neither are good to have in your garage when the police come.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Roses are Rose, Violets are Violet.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What's black and has ne education? A tire.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

a man walks in to a bar. he says oww.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

long in the tooth!

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Did you hear about the comedian cereal killer?...He raped his victims before strangling them to death.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why did the woman go to the kitchen? The same reason she went to the bathroom, she needed to wash her hands because she was finger painting. Her husband was using the bathroom.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

c-? men, C-men

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house? No. Neither has he.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops