What did the mother get her blonde daughter for her birthday? A flower on her tombstone.

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Womens rights

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Q. What's the difference between a duck? A. An orange.

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What would you do if I said a horse ate your mother? It doesn't mattet, I didn't

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Why is a building called a building when it's already been built? My pinky is pink and my liver helps me live.

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How do you turn a fruit into a vegetable? A car crash.

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hey! Wanna hear a bird joke? No. Well this is Hawkward....

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whats the difference between a door knob? a milk carton, because people have legs so they can walk !!!!!

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A man walks into a bar... The steal bar hurt his face and had to get stitches.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. Incorrect. Violets are violet. DERP!

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An American, a French man, and Jew were all in an airplane about to skydive. Their skydiving instructor comes out and says, "I'm sorry, there seems to've been a mistake and we only have two parachutes." The company refunds them, and they, while reasonably disappointed, agree to reschedule the lesson.

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How many dyslexics does it take to screw in a light bulb? Dyslexia is a cognitive learning disability characterized by the sufferer's inability to fluently spell, speak and read. Being a intellectual disability, the chances that dyslexia could impair the practical functionality of a sufferer are very slim and hence it it is highly probable that it would only take one dyslexic to change a light bulb in the simplest of conditions. However, to definitively answer this question, I would have to know a range of variables such as the height above the ground at which the light socket is mounted, the physical height of the dyslexic, the voltage and amp characteristics of the light-bulb itself, the physical well-being of the dyslexic etc. These variables are unknown, are not mentioned in the initial question (as is common for this type of question) and hence, I cannot answer this question to any degree of accuracy.

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what do you call a kid with no arms and legs under a bus an ambulance, he's obviously in pain

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what did the african say after he got beat by the cops? wow i really shouldn't have sliced that mans head off.

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Three men are sitting in a tub. One of them says "Toss me the soap." The second one says "Toss me the shampoo." The third one says "Toss me the toaster."

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why did the grandmom make rollerblades into cookies? because she had dementia

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So three hikers decide to face the deadly challenge of climbing Mount Everest. They were unaware of the risks, and were all brutally killed in an avalanche.

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How did the chicken know where he was going? He had a map.

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A man violently rapes a small child. Unfortunately the child has aids and gives them to the man.

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Why was 6 afraid of seven? because 7 brutally beat and raped 9

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What did one rock say to the other rock? Nothing. Rocks can't talk, idiot.

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Knock knock Who's there? The Gestapo, time to go to Auschwitz.

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Why didn't Timmy have a girlfriend ??? Because he's a Fruit bowl !

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Q: What's your dog's name ? A: Dog. Q: What's your cat's name ? A: Cat. Q: What's your dick's name A: Pinky

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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