What did the waiter say to an overweight customer? May I take your order?

A neutron walked into a bar and asked "how much for a drink?" The bartender did not reply because a neutron is so small he didn't notice that it even entered.

yo mama so stupid that when she stared at an orange jucie carton for 20 minutes cause it said consatrate

women's rights

Why was the man arrested? He assaulted and raped an elderly woman at the local Walmart. He then proceeded to hijack the poor woman's Scooter and lead police on a 4 mile long car chase.

How many Americans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Well thats a stupid question, just one.

What did Hitler say to Obama Nothing because Hitler is dead.

ha ha, I can talk and you can't.

Your face

"Knock Knock" "Who's There" "It's Dallas" "Dallas Who" James and Dallas's relashonship quickly deteriorated as Dallas realized he and James been best friends for 2 years and James doesn't even know his name.

What's worse than public speaking? Public masterbation. *Spelled it wrong purposly to bypass the filter*

In Pokemon, why are bug types super effective against dark types? Because Ebola affected a lot in Africa.

This is a haiku Haikus are not really jokes Congratulations!

Q: Why do blondes wear hoop earrings? A: Those that wear them think that said earrings positively accentuate their physical appearance.

Why wouldn't the baby boy stop crying when the babysitter was in the room? Because he put cigarettes out on him.

Whats the biggest party fowl? Murder

roses are red violets are blue i'm not a? poet microwave

If you die laughting, How are you telling this to me?

why was six afraid of seven? because seven had a huge ass mole

Knock knock. Whose there? No one, I'm trying to tell a knock knock joke.

What's the difference between Tiger Woods and Santa? Tiger woods is a famous golf player and Santa is a fictional old man dressed in red and white who is said to live in Lapland, have an airborne sleigh driven by eight magical reindeer and come down the chimney to fill childrens' stockings on Christmas eve.

"who you calling pinhead" tell me you know what thats off

so a jew walks into a bar and leaves at 9:00 becuase he has work in the morning.

Every week or so Chuck Norris does his laundry.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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