What's green and bounces? An envious kangaroo.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

A man walks into a bar, he purchases a drink from the barman proceeds to finish the drink and then leaves.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

What happened when the white man saw a black man running with a purse? He called the police. The police proceeded to chase the black man down tackling him into a dumpster, causing permanent spinal damage. Upon investigation into the situation, the black man was deaf and he was bringing the purse, which contained an epi-pen, to his dying wife a block away. The police officers involved were fired and sued by the family, ruining their lives. Months later they both committed suicide.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

What's big, red, has green and puple spots and responds to "here boy"? Nothing, not to my knowledge anyway!

thumb_up thumb_down -34

What time is it when it is time to get a watch? About 4:30, unless its a monday.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Q:What is yellow and has wheels A: A banana I was joking about the wheels

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Roses are Gray, Violets are Gray, I am color-blind, I hate my life

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Q : What is the similarity between me and my friend? A : We both are crazy

thumb_up thumb_down -34

What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? A Trampoline.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

why did the kid drop his toy? a dog was ripping out his throat

thumb_up thumb_down -36

Whats green and can kill you when it falls from a tree? a pool table

thumb_up thumb_down -36

A man dies on the operating table and finds himself in front of the Pearly Gates. St Peter looks at him and says " You are having a hallucination due to all the drugs they have given you and because your brain releases chemicals when you die. I am not real and there is not heaven or a god." Upon resuscitation the man contemplates his hallucination and becomes an Atheist.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

whats black and has 3 legs? a spider with 5 missing legs.duh.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

why did dicks dicks the dicks dicks? because you're gay and dicks

thumb_up thumb_down -36

How many Jews does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Well, one must question: 1. How much the electrician knows when it comes to screwing in lightbulbs. 2. The amount of electricians present at the scene. 3. The type of equipment being used in the process. 4. The physical and mental stability of the electrician. The situation is solely dependent on the above factors.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 commited statutory rape on a younger 5, gang banged 8 with 10 and 11, murdered 9, and was sentenced to jail for life.... eventually the case was dropped and 7 was let out early for community service. He told 6 he was coming for him 6 months later.... 6 was so terrified he didn't know what to do... he was living in fear... eventually he commited suicide by jumping off a cliff just off the coach of Palm Beach into the pacific ocean. His body was never found His family didnt get to say good bye... This is why 6 was afraid of 7

thumb_up thumb_down -36

One day, a woman was walking down an alleyway at midnight She reached the end of the alley and realised that it was a dead end, as there was a brick wall, so she turned around and headed on back home.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

Why did the ship get lost at sea? The captain was a piece of bread.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

What did the blue man say to the red lady? Do you want to make purple? -A.M.M

thumb_up thumb_down -38

Why did the woman leave the kitchen? She didn't.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

What's the difference between a car tyre and 365 used condoms? One is a Goodyear. The others a fucking great year!!! San2

thumb_up thumb_down -38

What have the TV programmes Shameless, The Jeremy Kyle Show and Benidorm all have in common? They are all examples of modern British society

thumb_up thumb_down -40

Do you like fish-sticks? Love 'em. You like putting fish-sticks in your mouth? Yeah. What are you, a gay fish?

thumb_up thumb_down -40

mark lawson likes boys

thumb_up thumb_down -40

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops