What's the difference between a duck and a popsicle? I don't shit on hamsters.

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If you have me you want to share me, if you share me you no longer have me. What am I? (a secrect)

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Why did Brooke go to the bathroom? She had to pee

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What do you get when you cross the Godfather with a lawyer? This would be unlikely to happen, as it would cut the story short.

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Whats green, and says i'm a frog? A talking frog.

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Want to hear a joke? Womens rights.

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A guy finds a lamp in the desert and rubs it 3 times.. No genie appears because there is no such thing as Magic.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Ada! Ada who? Ada burger for lunch!

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What's as hard as rock and as light as a feather? Any object in the space, once the lack of gravity makes atoms to have not weight, since mass x gravity equals to weight.

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Whats two plus two? Miles

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Why did little Sally drop her ice cream? She got ran over by the school bus

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How many Jews does it take to screw in a lightbulb? -None, they will pay for somebody else to do it

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Why did then plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Q: What did the littl boy with cancer get for christmas? A: Nothing, he didnt make it that far.

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Q: what's the difference between a young, geeky kid living in Wisconsin's basketball and Yao Ming's basketball? A: young, geeky kids cannot live in Wisconsin's basketball. Wisconsin is a state, and states cannot own objects because they aren't sentient beings. And Yao Ming's basketball... is just a regular basketball that happens to be owned by Yao Ming.

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How did the boy break his hand? He slammed it in a car door.

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A man punches a 3rd grader in the stomach. Not long after he is arrested and no longer is allowed within 500 feet of a public school.

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What do you call an African American who flies a plane? A Pilot

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nobody move, or i'll kill myself, then her!

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A duck walks into a restraunt and sit's down at it's table. The waiter asks what the duck would like to eat. The duck says "I'd like a tasty, healthy meal that will help me lose weight." The waiter says "How about the rocket salad?" So, the duck orders a rocket salad, eat's it, pays his bill, and leaves.

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Koalas mum is a slut

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What happened to the baby bird? It fell out the nest

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Your mom is such a slut that your dad didn't even ask her if you were his biological child and raised you as if you were, regardless of what the dna results may suggest.

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How do you fit four gay on a bar stool? Divide the given space into fourths and convince them to share it accordingly. However, due to the fact that bar stools are significantly smaller than the average chair, and the likelihood that the bar has the resources to provide chairs for all of their customers, it would be highly unlikely that the men would choose be remain seated in such an inconvenient manner.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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