A: What are the nine most terrifying words in the English dictionary? B: What are they? A: I'm from the government and i'm here to help

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ronald wants to join a gym, they tell him to lose 20 pounds before coming back or else.....

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-You know what will always get people fighting? -Hey, you wanna fight?

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And more;

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Why didn't little Jimmy eat his dinner? Jimmy didn't eat his dinner because there was no food. Jimmy is a poor street urchin who died of starvation.

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Lets just say that we are beyond the stage where I am "just" trying, by the way, you might want to search that last comment for double negatives. Or you know NOT NOT. Do not take my word for it, but if I am not wrong, the bacteria (yogurt) leaves afterwards, so you are eating milk that has been eaten and then.. You know... A common "side effect" of hypnosis, is that when it is used, the one hypnotized (both in this case) end up feeling a "strange" case of closeness, stronger bonds, friendship etc, scientists wonder why... ITS LIKE DUH! WE BOTH REVEAL DEEP SECRETS TO EACH OTHER! THINGS WE DO NOT EVEN USUALLY TELL OURSELVES! Its a literal no brainer, scientits can go fuck themselves, because as far as I know, thats the only fuck they ever get.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Boo. Boo who? Boo Richard.

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roses are red violets are red everything is red who set my house on fire

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why did the chair brake? because a car smashed into it. where did it go? all the way to china. whats 3+4? why did the Chinese man get this wrong? Because a chair was in his head.

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What did Robert Kardashian say at O.J.'s most recent trial? Nothing. He died of esophagal cancer

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Thumbs up if you're reading this in 2015!

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How Many R's are in Terrence? two, how could there be 6?

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Fill in the blank: Hello my name is ___, and today I would like to ask you why you put your real name in the blank? Posted by: BerserkSpoon

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What is a dog's favorite color? None,dogs have colorblindness.

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What does a man and an orange have in common? Nothing.

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whats worse than getting ran over by a car seeing you mum having ***

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what happened when the chicken crossed the road? it didn't the hunter shot it

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Whats worse then world war 3 world war 4

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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How do you kill a blonde? By irreparably damaging a major organ. The same way you kill anything else.

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yo mumma is so smelly i can distictly smell her more than her perfume

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what happens when you piss on a dead monkey nothing you just lose the urge to pee O.o

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I love you! Haikus are easy But sometimes they don't make sense Squirrels are rabbid Yes mi this is a haiku!!!! I know ur reading this so grape grape grape

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A student exclaimed "This test is a piece of cake!" He ate it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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