How do you keep a dummy in suspense for 24 hours? Tell him his wife suffered from a severe concussion and that he'll have to wait until morning to see if she's okay

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What did the little girl with cancer get for Christmas? Chemotherapy.

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What do Batman and Harry Potter have in common? Their parents are dead.

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A ninja is walking down the street then he...finds a puppy a names him rex

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Why did the little girl not speak? It was Anne Frank

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Latvian guy said to the other latvian guy: ''Why did the chicken cross the road?'' The other latvian guy responded: ''In truth, i do not know. I have not seen chicken in 10 years. The last time was before the red army plundered my village. I can still hear all the screams from the women being raped. But, back to question. Where is this chicken you speak of? I have not eaten in days and my wife and children are close to starvation aswell''

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Q: What does a baby look like in a microwave? A: I don't know, I don't masturbate with my eyes open.

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What did the fish say to the octopus? nothing... fish cant talk.

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KARMA KARMA KARMA KARMA CHAMELEON

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How do you make a black plumber cry? - kill his whole family

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A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The father begins by juggling some balls. The mother pulls out her harmonica and begins playing "Dixie". The children and dog try and get the dog to jump through a hoop. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"

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Rex Ryans foot fetish was honer by Mark Sanchez when he threw the ball at his teammates feet.

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What's the difference between a horse and a unicorn? Horses are real.

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How do you stop a baby alien from crying? Watch what its mother does to soothe it and then try and copy that.

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What's worse than a worm in your apple? The holocaust What's worse than the holocaust? Two worms in you apple what worse than 2 worms in your apple? Two holocausts

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My dog got out of its cage So I found it and beat the shit out of my neighbors kid.

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look at the top of your screen. now look down. I MADE YOU DO THAT

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Why was ticklish Tom not ticklish anymore? A: he got hit by a train

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what looks like a bananna but is blue a blue bananna

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Why doesn't Santa deliver gifts anymore? Because Santa died of a heart attack.

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What did the giraffe say to the other? nothing giraffes cant talk

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Q: What happened to the monkey when he jumped off the tree. A: He died Q: Why did the second monkey jump off of the tree A: He was attatched to the first monkey Q: Why did the third monkey jump off the tree A: Peer Pressure

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Whats wrong with that Nothing

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what's the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? when you slap a mosquito it stops sucking:)

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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