Susie had no arms and no legs.. what did she get for Christmas? Cancer. Amy was riding on a swing.. who was pushing her? Not Susie.

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How many licks does it take to get to the Tootsie Roll center of a Tootsie Pop? As many as it takes.

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A- knock knock B- whose there? A- Chuck Norris B- chuck norris who? A- are you retarded?

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What did the black guy say after coming home from school? "I just got home from school."

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What does a eagle and a bunny have in common.. nothing they're two different animals.

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You life story is the perfect cure for insomnia. [L]

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What did one deer say to the other? Nothing. The second deer was killed while they were eating and now the first deer is scarred dot life.

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And so i say to the preist ........... pass the bananas

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What worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into an apple and finding 2 worms

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs? A man with no arms and no legs

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What's the best way to cross the road? Ideally with your feet and legs because disabled people usually don't recommend their unfortunate state of affairs. However there are other alternatives which may or may not be better than common or garden walking, such as crane hire - crossing in a crane bucket in a safe spot; chauffer driven limos, which don't do the straight, direct route, generally; and being carried on a replica of Cleopatra's carry couch (but with modern suspension, unless you prefer the up and down motion).

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A man has had too many beers late at night. The bartender says "Sir, I'm going to have to cut you off"

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Hehe 9/11 Funny Stuff If you know what I mean!!

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A women's opinion.

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Why did the man order a mail order Asian bride? Because he was caucasian which meant females of his race had unrealistically high expectations of a partner due to various materialistic overtones that are constantly portrayed in their medie creating a society of over entitled women who think they are owed the earth.

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So last night I was f**king my girlfriend and I flip her over and f**k her up the ass. Later we're sitting having a cigarette when she says, "you know it was pretty presumptuous of you to think you can just flip me over and f**k me up the ass." And I said, "presumptuous!? That's a pretty big word for a 5th grader."

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Two crabs are standing on a wall. One of them falls down. The second one's name is Georges.

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A giraffe walks into a bar.... just kidding, a giraffe wouldnt fit in a bar.

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When time is the best time to make a wish during the day? 9:11

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Can you smell what the Rock is cooking? Yes, it's delicious!

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Whats the difference between a lemon and an ant? They're both yellow except for the lemon.

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Hellen keller

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A muslim walks into a airport. He then boards his flight and is flown to his destination.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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