What do your friends have in common with a tree? They both fall down when you hit them multiple time with an axe

What does an elephant and a grape have in common? One of them is purple.

What do you call a discounted watercraft? It is traditional to give it a female name.

An owl and a squirrel were sitting on a tree branch. An acorn fell on the squirrel's head and surprised, the owl moved its head 3.276 degrees to the right. The squirrel apologized for the inconvenience, but the owl would not listen, so flew off to buy a ferry to help children with terminal illnesses get to school.

What starts with P and ends with "oop" POOP

A black man was walking down the street wearing a ski mask. It was cold outside.

What day is it today? Today. Thank you. You're welcome.

What did the Rasta man say when he got his dread stuckin the toilet ?

What worse than stubbing your toe? Getting raped by a panda.

What is the difference between a watermelon and a baby? One you can smash with a hammer and the other is just a watermelon.

Why did the drunk driver get into an accident? It was a woman.

Whose your daddy? Not me

Why don't elderly people act their age? because they die.

If you die laughting, How are you telling this to me?

Q: Why do blondes wear hoop earrings? A: Those that wear them think that said earrings positively accentuate their physical appearance.

"who you calling pinhead" tell me you know what thats off

Knock knock. Whose there? No one, I'm trying to tell a knock knock joke.

Why wouldn't the baby boy stop crying when the babysitter was in the room? Because he put cigarettes out on him.

Whats the biggest party fowl? Murder

so a jew walks into a bar and leaves at 9:00 becuase he has work in the morning.

Every week or so Chuck Norris does his laundry.

What's worse than public speaking? Public masterbation. *Spelled it wrong purposly to bypass the filter*

In Pokemon, why are bug types super effective against dark types? Because Ebola affected a lot in Africa.

why was six afraid of seven? because seven had a huge ass mole

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...