Drunk, a tweeker and a pot head are walking together when they come upon a huge wall with a large, locked gate in the middle of it. The drunk shouts "lesh shmash it down!" then passes out. The tweeker says "Dude, we should totally take the lock apart and see if there's some kind of mechanism in there holding it together that we can use to build some sort of machine for taking... oh man I gotta crap so bad! Either of you guys gota smoke?" and the pot head says "We should sit here and wait." I didn't say it was a good story

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Why did the cat bite its owner? Because the owner had been dead for several days and the cat was locked in the house with nothing else to eat.

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a hobo begs and begs for a dollar to buy something. a man finally gives him a dollar. what does the hobo buy? nothing. he walked into 711 and got shot.

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Knock, knock. "Who's there?" "Jehovah's Witness." "Jehovah's witness, who?" "Just Jehovah's Witness. Your doorbell is not working."

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Roses are red, Violoets are blue, I accidentally shat my pants. Brb

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a jewish person sees a nickel on a sidewalk and continues walking.

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"I just don't understand the difference between yours and mines." "Well, you see, yours belong to you, whereas mines explode when you step on them."

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What rhymes with turtle? RAPE

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What did your mom make me for Christmas... ...An apple pie because she is a very nice lady

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was getting chased by nazis.

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A Blonde Goes On "Who Wants To Be A Millionaire"

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What's frozen and eaten off a stick? Your dead uncle Norman

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Whats the difference between a dead baby and a lamborghini? Dead babies are not sports cars

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Why did the black man commit suicide? Because the white man murdered him.

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Guess what? Holocaust

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? Blind.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To visit his wife in the hospital. She has terminal cancer.

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there was a turkey sandwhich..... a ham sandwhich.... and a bologna sandwhich..... they had a short conversation before they were eatin by a fat kid

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What do you call a Mentally Challenged Black Man? Whatever Name his parent(s) Gave him at birth.

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What's worse than finding a dead fly in your soup? Finding your soup in a dead fly

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How do you piss of camon? Have sex with shelby!

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Chuck Norris doesnt eat honey, hes allergic to it.

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Whats the deal with airline food? I dont know, the cost is included in the plane ticket

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The indistinguishable bug corrupts a bond arrow.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops